Archive | August, 2010

Frustration & 5K Recap

By on August 31, 2010 in body, R1P4, running

Recently I blogged about Rest Days and how I am getting better about taking them and not letting them turn into the first step down the slippery slope to a whole restmonthspentonthecouchwithbenandjerrys.  And, you know, I really am feeling like all of this activeexerciseyathleticalness is developing into a lifetime habit, rather than a soicanloseweight kind of thing.  (Annoyed by the mushingmultiplewordsintoone? Sorry I’m not sorry.)

So that’s all wonderful and is really the whole point of everything I’m doing these days.  Developing habits, changing my life.  NOT focusing on losing weight for its own sake, but to better my life.

But being sidelined because of an injury is frustrating to me right now, in a way that rest days have never been.  Especially because it follows on the heels of my best 5K ever and because I can’t pinpoint when the heck I injured myself!

To back it up a bit, I have struggled with repeated ankle injuries since high school, and I’m sure I made it all worse when, instead of following doctor’s orders and staying off my feet (RICE, people!) for two weeks, I’d always be back on the court (basketball or volleyball) pretty much as soon as I could walk.  I used so much BenGay and Advil as a high school athlete, it’s a wonder my liver is still speaking to me.  Fast-forward to adulthood, and until a few years ago I was constantly spraining, rolling, straining – you name it – both ankles.

I think running, which I took up in 2006, helped strengthen my feet and legs a lot, and my ankle injuries have been pretty much nonexistent since I started running.  Until Sunday evening.  After my awesome 5K.  In which I ran a PR of 36:46.  Which is nearly 3 minutes faster than my previous PR.  (If you weren’t annoyed by the mushingwordstogether maybe you are now by the extremely short sentences???)

I. Felt. Great.  It was a tough last quarter mile or so, but even though I went out faster than I intended, I wasn’t sucking wind (okay, maybe just a little) too badly by the end.  And I felt strong physically.  Like I could’ve run further.  Which was good, because I was planning on taking the plunge Monday morning and running 10K (or 6.2 miles) with this hotass and this other hotass.  My local running partners in crime.

But Sunday night my ankle started to feel sore.  I went to bed assuming it would be fine by morning, but when I woke up at 4:30 (curse my husband’s effing alarm!), it felt worse – like I had sprained my ankle.  Only I didn’t.  Sprain my ankle, I mean.  Unless I did it while sleepwalking or in an otherwise unconscious state.  So I texted Tara and Jord and reluctantly backed out of our planned run for the morning.  Which pissed me off, and made me feel like I was letting them down (I know. Dumb. I wasn’t. I get that.).  And I am really, really disappointed.

So, this post is basically all about me having a pity party, but also bragging about my PR.  And, asking y’all to keep your fingers and toes (all appendages, really) crossed that my ankle is fine tomorrow, so I can get out there and do a long run like I need to so I am prepared for my 10, which is in 13 days.

Have you gone through an “injury” while training for an event?  How in the world do you get through it without going stir crazy?

Comments { 10 }

It’s Not About the Food (Guest Post)

By on August 30, 2010 in blogging, eating, emotional stuff, fear, guest post

I wouldn’t go so far as to say we’re going to call it “Guest Post Monday” in these here parts.  But I just can’t pass up the opportunity to share amazing stories from my blogging buddies with y’all.  This week, we’re hearing from Chris at A Deliberate Life.  If you don’t already read her blog, what the hell are you doing with your time?! you should go check it out.  Without further ado…

***************************************************************************************************************************

Hello,

My name is Chris.

You may or may not know me. I have a blog called A deliberate life.

I chose that name because that is how I want to live.

It was a decision I made when I was 22 and living in Germany.

When I was a child, I saw all sorts of people making decisions.

I saw people all around me making decisions based on many things…

How they felt,  the two good choices they may have left, How someone else was treating them, what kind of job they had, what their boyfriends wanted, what other people would think..

But mostly, they ran around making decisions based on how they felt about themselves.

From the outcome of those decisions.

I would hazard a guess, that how they felt about themselves

And what they thought they deserved.

Well, it wasn’t so Good.

But rarely did I see them making decisions by sitting and thinking.

What do I Want?

What are my gifts or talents?

What plan does God have for me?

How can I live my life so that is not only  beneficial  to me, but to others?

What is my purpose?

How can this help?

You may be wondering, What on EARTH does this have to do with WEIGHT LOSS!

Well I will tell you.

People 100 pounds or more overweight aren’t just eating food cause it tastes good.

(Although that is part of it.)

They are also eating to fill a hole.

Everyone’s hole is shaped differently.

Everyone’s hole has one other thing in common.

It can’t be filled with food.

Or Alcohol.

Or Drugs.

That is why the food, the alcohol or the Drugs never work.

That is why the first questions I had to ask myself when I wanted to lose weight…

Was:

Why was I using Food inappropriately?

It was to fill a hole.

It was a love sized hole.

I didn’t know how to ask for or receive love.

The second reason:

It was to build up enough fat to protect me from unwanted attention from Men.

Once I figured those out, I knew that food was a drug for me.

Knowing the seriousness of the problem, facing it…helps  you to confront it and overcome it.

Don’t make light of it…because it could kill you.

You can have a ‘Food Plan’.

You can exercise.

You can be gung ho.

But if your issues,

and that hole isn’t fixed.

I dare to say.

You will put the weight back on, plus some.

I did it.

I had to become emotionally whole to win this fight.

You can do it too.

Ask the questions.

Get the answers..

Accept the answers.

Fix the problem.

How do you fix the problem.

Well that depends on the problem.

I am an fan of

Dig it up.

face it

Fix it.

Problems with your parents?

Abusive childhood?

You have to do what you have to , to set it right.

It means face the abuser and forgive the abuser.

You can face the abuser on the phone, through a letter, or in person.

you have to think about your safety.

You get it off your chest. Or it will fester.

They don’t have to accept your version.

They don’t even have to say they are sorry.

Mine didn’t.

Then you forgive.

Not for them, for you.

So it no longer has a hold on you.

And then you set out learning how to trust.

Learning how to ask for what you need and not being afraid to try.

This is just one issue.

Each issue has its own steps.

But each HAS to be dealt with.

Or you won’t get better.

That is the hard part.

But you can do it.

Have a good day.

Big Hugs and best wishes to you.

Chris

Comments { 6 }

My Running Story (in a Nutshell)

By on August 28, 2010 in hope/inspiration, running, weight

I wrote this post for another blog and realized it was a perfect “nutshell” of my story with running and weight loss.  Which I now, because of Tara, want to just call my Life Changing Journey. Because, really, it’s not just about weight loss – it’s about changing your life; reclaiming your life; realizing who you are and what you’re passionate about and making that the focus of your life.

In any case, I realized that I don’t know if I’ve ever told this story all at once here on my blog.  For those of you who are new to running and/or this healthy living thing, I hope this post gives you hope and inspires you to take your first (and next, and next) step.  It’s not about running, really – that’s just what it was about for me.  Whatever activity you love, that makes you feel strong and free and athletic – that’s what it’s about for you.

I also hope knowing that I was nearly 300 pounds when I started gives you hope that you can do this.  Everyone can.  You have the strength inside you to change your life.  You just have to take the first step.  And you know what?  Now’s as good a time as any to do that.  Saying “tomorrow” is futile, because tomorrow never comes – all you have is today.  So start today; right now.  And share your story here, because the people who read this blog are nothing if not supportive.  They will cheer you on.  They will push you.  And they will celebrate every little and big victory with you.

I began running in 2006 when I started my weight loss journey.  At my heaviest, I tipped the scales at 298.6.  One day I bent over to tie my shoes, and when I straightened back up, I was breathless and lightheaded.  That was one of many “aha moments” when I knew I had to do something about my health.

I started by working out with a trainer and completely overhauling my eating habits.  I shopped for and cooked whole, healthy foods, stayed away from sugar (for the most part), and cut down on white starches.  After I’d lost about 20 pounds, I started running.

How I came to running is a whole story in itself!  I had always hated running, or so I thought.  Growing up, I thought running was all about speed, and since I wasn’t fast, I thought I wasn’t good at it.  I also had terrible running mechanics as a teenager, so the running I *did* do for my other sports (basketball and volleyball) left me with excruciating shin splints.

But by 2006 I was nothing if not practical (as a recent law school grad my analytical skills were top-notch!) so I thought, “what’s the most efficient way to burn calories?”  My answer was running, so that’s what I did.  The first time I tried to run ran on the treadmill, I couldn’t make it one minute without gasping for air and feeling like I was going to hack up a lung.  But I persisted and slowly, slowly, slowly built my running intervals up from 60 seconds to 90 seconds…then 2 minutes, to 3, to 5, and so on.  In September 2006 I crossed the finish line of my first 5K ever, having for the first time run the entire distance without a walking break.

I have never looked back.  In the three months I had been running, I went from running for utility to running because I could; because it felt like freedom; because it reminded me of my inner athlete.  I had come to love running and I have loved it ever since.

Fast-forward to the present, I am continuing on my journey to a healthy life and running plays a huge role in that for me.  I am down to 215 pounds from my high of 298.6.  Even better, I have muscle definition in my legs and arms and am well on my way to achieving a fit, healthy body that can carry me into old age gracefully.  You know those old folks you see out jogging?  That’s how I want to be.  I don’t want to grow old and “give in” – I want to embrace every year of my life and live it in as strong and healthy a way as I can.

In a few weeks, I’m running a 10K for the first time in my life.  I’m excited, because it’s the Iron Girl 10K around Greenlake in Seattle, and that’s the same event as my first 5K ever.  It feels fitting that this next milestone have a connection back to the first running event I participated in; that’s where I realized I loved running, and I look forward to loving it for many years to come.

Comments { 12 }

Emotions & Food & Running

By on August 24, 2010 in eating, emotional stuff, hunger, R1P4, running, training

Let’s tackle those three topics in order, shall we?  But first, if you didn’t read my very first guest post ever by the awesome Tara, check out yesterday’s post about Beginnings and Never Giving Up!

Emotions & Food

Y’all have probably noticed that I’m not posting as much as I used to.  For the most part, that’s just because I’m busy – out living my life, running, working out, being social, working hard, and loving this time of year.  I have an insane schedule that I won’t bore you by talking about again, but suffice it to say that sometimes I have to choose between living and writing about it.  Y’all know my choice.

At the same time, this blog has become somewhat of a journal for me; where I struggled in prior attempts to actually write in a diary every day, I’ve never struggled when it came time to write here.   I think somehow knowing that someone in the world might actually read my words makes it easier for me to write.  And then there’s the whole onceyoustartyoujustcantstop thing that happens when it comes to writing.  It’s addictive, in a way.

This last week has been busy in a different way.  I can’t talk details, but someone very close and very dear to me is going through a really hard, dramatic change in life.  I am so grateful to be able to support this person and help however I can as she travels a most difficult road.  I am so impressed by her strength and courage in doing the right thing and taking a stand for what is right.  At the same time, it breaks my heart to watch her go through what is surely the toughest thing she’s ever faced.

So, yeah – emotionalmuch??  I can’t even describe the emotions that are running through me.  And as I type that sentence, I realize that is actually one of the problems that led me to emotionally eat for much of my life.  Not being able to name emotions gives them so much power, you almost think you can’t survive them.  So you I eat instead.  Not anymore; not today.  Today, instead of eating my emotions, I name them: fear for my loved one and fear for myself – that the same thing could happen to me.  Fear of not knowing the future.  Hope that things will be okay.  Sadness for what she is losing.  Pride for being able to help. Confusion for not knowing how to put words to all the rest of it.

On my way home today, I was feeling that “empty” feeling – you know the one I’m talking about?  The feedmenoworyouwontbeabletostandit feeling?  I realized that every emotional string I could identify, if I followed it back to its source, traced back to FEAR.  FEAR, my friends, is MY four-letter F-word.  And I am not giving FEAR or any other emotion power over me anymore.  So instead of heading home to shovel food into that empty hole, I came home, talked to my husband, ate my healthy dinner, and came here to talk this out for myself.

You?  Thank you for listening.  For reading, for being my supportive community, and for understanding.  Just knowing you’re there really helps.

Running

To end with some badassawesometasticness I want to tell you about my run today!  On the schedule was a 5 miler.  Jord and I met at 7:30 (despite both having had snafu-tastic mornings) to run around Greenlake.  The inner loop is 2.8 miles, so I originally thought I’d run one loop plus part of another.  Instead, I decided to just run two loops, but walk the last half mile.

Instead, I ran it!  We took a few walking breaks (and one potty stop whyohwhydididrinkthatcoffeeBEFOREmyrun???), but in the end, I RAN 5.64 MILES IN 1:16:36.  I think it might’ve been less time than that, but due to a Garmin user malfunction, I can’t be quite sure.

You know what else?  I totally could have done another .6 miles, which would have equally 10K.  So all that fearupinhere about my upcoming 10K?  It abates a little more with each run.  And that’s what training is all about, right?

Comments { 9 }

Never Give Up (or, Back to the Beginning) – Guest Post

By on August 23, 2010 in blogging, emotional stuff, guest post

I am so excited to share my first ever guest post with you!  If y’all don’t already know Tara, head on over to her blog by clicking this link, and add her to your reader.  Go on, we’ll wait…okay, good.  Now, settle in for a good read.  And when you’re done?  Do me a favor and go share some encouragement with someone you know who’s new to this healthy living stuff.  Share a link to this post, give a word of advice, offer to work out with a friend, whatever.  We all started somewhere, and we’re all where we are because of hard work and determination and the help and encouragement of others.  Let’s pay it forward.

*******************************************************************************************************************************

So, this is my first guest post. I can’t tell you how many times I started the first line only to erase and start over hoping for some sort of inspiration that would make this entry catch the eyes of the readers and at the same time provide you with something helpful you can put in your pocket and use later…

I thought about what I should write. Should I write about running? Should I write about preparing for my first triathlon? Should I write about how I’ve lost 80 pounds in 8 months just by eating less and moving more? And then it hit me…

I want to write about the beginning.

If you’ve been on this Life Changing Journey otherwise known in my blogging neighborhood as LCJ (to know me is to know that I love a good three letter acronym or TLA) for some time then this post may seem a little redundant. You know what it takes to be where you are right now. You’ve experienced the tears, and frustrations. You’ve felt the joys of losing weight and seen all your hard work pay off with smaller clothes, muscle definition and the newly acquired ability to push your plate away half way through a meal because you are full.

But I remember what it was like before that. I remember what it was like to lie awake in bed at 5am crying my eyes out because I was too embarrassed to take my 270 pound body outside to do any kind of exercise so I had to do it before the sun came up. I remember what it was like try to eat something healthy at work only to be sabotaged (by my own doing) because someone decided that ordering in a pizza was a good idea. I remember what it was like to count out 15 mini pretzels and wonder if I should count the broken ones. I remember what it was like to finally see what a serving of cereal looked like and thought to myself “how in the world can someone only eat this much and be satisfied?” I remember what it was like be out of breath after 15 minutes on the wii…

Is that where you are today?

If I could reach through this post and put my arms around you and tell you I understand everything you’re feeling right now I would. I’d look you in the eyes and say “We’ve all been there” because you know what? We’ve all been there. That’s the wonderful thing about this journey; we all had to take the first step.

Do not give up.

Let me repeat that: DO NOT GIVE UP.

I don’t care where you are on this journey. Maybe you’re just looking through some blogs wondering about your own weight (I read weight loss blogs for months before starting this journey). Maybe you’ve attempted to make some changes in your life in hopes it will help shed a few pounds (I replaced one diet coke with one glass of water in the beginning). Maybe you need to lose 100 pounds and the first thing you did to start was walk up a flight of stairs (that’s how I started).  Whatever you do from here on out DO NOT GIVE UP.

My weight loss portion of this journey is coming to a close soon. I started out needing to lose close to 100 pounds. 80 of them are gone. Another chapter will begin. What does that chapter look like? I have no idea but it will be a beginning of sorts. I can tell you one thing: I’m scared to take that first step but take it I will and I will never give up.

Someday you’re going to tell someone taking their first step the same thing.

Comments { 7 }