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It’s a Blur

Life, that is.  I  mean this in the best way possible, but sometimes I wish life came with a “pause” button.  My girl is growing so fast – she’s 7 months old already!  Wearing 12 month clothing!  Sitting up, rolling over, and chattering away.  In that, she’s her momma’s girl.

And it’s already April.  Really?  I’m just now getting used to writing 2012 on my checks okay I never write checks it being a new year, and the year’s already one third over.  And now I officially sound like one of those old people I used to scoff at when I was a child.

I keep wondering if it’s time to let the blog go, if this was a season of my life that has now passed and I should move on.  I haven’t decided, hence this post to say hello and I’m still here.  I read all of your blogs, but commenting is rare since I’m usually reading on my phone while using the bathroom (oh, stop, you know you do it, too!) waiting in line sitting at a red light falling asleep at night.

I’m not ready to say goodbye yet, so I won’t.  I’ll just know that I can come say “hi” whenever I slow down enough to remember to do it.  And I’ll keep up with you all, even if I can’t tell you that I’m doing it since commenting is so hard from my phone.  And hopefully a few of you will stick around to see what happens next with me…

 

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Quickie..but Goodie?

I have a gazillion posts in my head and no time to write them.  We are busy trying to figure out life as a two-working-parents household.  No complaints here – even with a cold (poor thing), Alana is a joy and we are loving being her mommy and daddy!  And this is nothing that millions of other folks haven’t been through, so I know we’ll eventually settle into what works for us.  Until then?  I’m just holding on tight!

I just had a moment, though.  I was reading this post from Whole9 and one particular part struck me as a great exercise: each time you are craving something you don’t really want to eat (i.e., it doesn’t fit into your healthy lifestyle plan), stop for a moment an figure out which of these five categories might apply:

  • Location (Where are you?)
  • Time (What time is it?)
  • Emotional state (What are you feeling in this moment?)
  • Other people (Who else is around?)
  • Immediately preceding action (What what were you doing prior to the undesired behavior?)

They go on to say: “It doesn’t matter whether you actually succumb to the cue or not – the point is to identify the circumstances that preceded your unwanted routine. ”

Well I haven’t done this “in the moment” but I know myself well enough to go through the list pretty quickly.  Do I do my unhealthy eating at the same place every time?  Nope.  Same time?  Nope.  I can tell you that TWO circumstances stand out as being consistently true when I’m eating like crap: I’m alone, and I’m feeling disconnected.

Hello?!  Light bulb moment, much?

Like anything else, this knowledge is only as good as what I do with it.  And I’m not sure what that is going to be right now.  I can’t even figure out how to fit in cooking healthy meals every day, let alone the gym and everything else I want to do.  And my #1 priority right now is breastfeeding my daughter.  So, revelations are all well and good.  But I don’t want to make yet another promise to myself that I don’t keep.  Like:

I’m going Paleo.
I’m eating mindfully.
I’m running regularly.
I’m quitting sugar.

A few of the many promises I’ve made to myself, only to break them.  And, you know?  Breaking a promise, if you figure out it no longer makes sense for your life, that’s okay.  But that’s not the reason behind all of my broken self-promises.

So my only promise this time is to stick it (and by “it” I mean this realization) in my pipe and chew it stop mixing metaphors smoke it.

And to keep trying.  That I can promise, and that’s one promise I’ve never broken.  I never give up.

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First Run

It’s 55 & sunny in Seattle today (and tomorrow, and the next day!) so although I was prepared to go to the gym, I just couldn’t resist being outside instead.  I came home to get my girl for a walk, but she was napping (still is, in fact) with her Daddy.  So, what’s a girl to do?  Sunshine, breezy cool weather, Vibrams on my feet…I just had to go for a run.

I wasn’t sure what to expect.  Actually, that’s a lie; I had very low expectations.  I thought it would be miserable.  I thought I’d have to walk most of my “usual” neighborhood run.  I thought I’d be in in pain and gasping for breath.  Yeah, I need to work on my evaluation of myself, right?  Another post for another time.

Here’s a few words/phrases to describe the run:

  • Short.
  • Hard.
  • Beautiful.
  • Long overdue.
  • Sweaty.
  • Man I missed this.
  • My calves are going to hate me tomorrow.
  • I should have eased back into running.
  • I should have eased back into running in my Vibrams.
  • My boobs hurt.  Sorry if that’s TMI, but anyone who has breast-fed while running…okay, not simultaneously in time but you know what I mean, will tell you that it’s not always comfortable!
  • The soles of my feet are tender.
  • It’s harder to run when I’m heavier.  Just call me Captain Obvious.
  • I can’t wait to do it again.  So long as the weather is nice.

Bottom line is this: I did it.  I ran more than I walked.  It took me about 6 minutes longer than my “normal” pre-baby time.  It was harder on my muscles than on my lungs.  And I don’t know why the heck I waited so darn long.

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And…Take Two

…wherein I confess that I fell off the “transitioning to Paleo” wagon about a week after I hopped on!

So guess what?  Apparently when you plan to change your entire way of eating, some planning is required in order for that to be a success.  Go figure!

Also, news flash?  Babies take up a LOT of time.  Where BB (“Before Baby”) I could have zipped out to Costco or the grocery store any time to stock up, and had time to cook most nights (I didn’t say I actually cooked most nights, just that I had time!), now … not so much.

So, yeah.  I made it about a week before my (a) failure to plan/cook/shop ahead and (b) inability to make time for such things mid-week derailed me.

Oh, and then there was the GSS2012 (Great Snow Storm of 2012) wherein we were “snowed in” for a week.  And by snowed in, I mean we had 12+ inches of snow and we live on a hill, so although the roads were mostly fine about a mile from our house, there was no getting out of our neighborhood unless I wanted to slip and slide in my car like I was on skis.

So, yeahCrap, I already said that.

Anyhoo, in an effort to be more realistic, I am taking this week and coming weekend to do my shopping/planning/cooking ahead.  In the meantime, I am back to no sugar starting now.  Each day I will do one thing to prepare for my change in food choices.  Except today, when I am going back to the gym.  For the first time since Alana was born.  I’m signing us up for a family membership and I will break a sweat.  That’s more important to me, today, than anything else.

Here’s the plan:

Tuesday: Costco after work.
Wednesday: Cook one Paleo-friendly meal, freeze at least 4 servings of same.
Thursday: Grocery store after work.
Friday: Same as Wednesday.
Saturday: Cook 2-3 meals, freeze, also prep snacks for the week.
Sunday: Same as Saturday.

Workout-wise:

Monday (today): Gym
Tuesday: Wii Fit
Wednesday: Gym
Thursday: Mid-day walk (little rain in forecast)
Friday: Rest (I have a hearing that day and like to get home early on Fridays if I can!)
Saturday: Gym
Sunday: Not sure, walk with hubs hopefully?

How about you peeps?  How are you all doing?  Please don’t say “I told you so” on the whole failing to plan is planning to fail thingy.  :)

Gratuitous baby pic:

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Baby Steps

So it’s no secret that I had a baby in September.  I had just gotten under 200 pounds for the first time in my adult life when I found out I was pregnant!  Although I imagined gaining weight would feel tough on me mentally/emotionally, it really wasn’t.  Not that I wanted to go crazy, mind you.  But knowing that my body was nourishing my baby made me surprisingly okay with the weight gain.  I was right on schedule for a very healthy weight gain until about the last month of my pregnancy, when I gained weight more quickly, resulting in a total weight gain of about 45 pounds – gulp!

Right after I gave birth, I started losing weight like CRAZY!  Taking care of a newborn full-time (and the resulting loss of two-handed-ness) combined with breast-feeding meant that I had lost nearly 30 pounds in 6 weeks.  Then I went back to work.  And, you guessed it, gained some of that weight BACK!  I got my hands back, my milk supply dipped a bit (pumping just isn’t as effective as the baby at keeping the supply going!), I wasn’t taking care of a baby 24×7, and boredom eating in front of the computer snuck back in.

Long story short, I’m still down about 20 pounds from my highest pregnancy weight, but that means I’ve got 25 pounds of pregnancy weight to lose, plus the 10 or so pounds of holiday weight I gained last year right before getting pregnant!  Are you still with me?

In any case, I’m not ready to make weight loss my priority and I’m not going to do anything drastic because that could jeopardize my milk supply, something I’m not willing to do.  But I do want to start making the move towards healthier eating habits both for me and my baby.  So here is my loose plan (subject to revision if anything messes with my milk supply or just doesn’t feel right):

  • Starting yesterday, I am off sugar, grains, and processed foods.  This is with the thought that eventually I will transition to the Paleo way of eating at least 80-90% of the time.
  • Next (probably next week but nothing is set in stone) I will eliminate legumes and reduce my dairy intake.  I’ve decided to do that more gradually (rather than eliminating dairy altogether) and really watch closely to see if/how it impacts my milk production.
  • I am committing to a 20 minute walk 5 days/week.  This is a VERY small step and a time commitment I know I can follow-through on, so if I don’t, it’s just because I chose not to make it a priority.
  • Within the next 4-6 weeks, I will start my one month of unlimited CrossFit.

So far (one day in), being sugar and grain free has been okay.  Of course I think of sugary foods or bread (I love sandwiches!) often and have had to say “no” to several cravings.  And of course, my office just happens to be one of those offices where there are constantly “treat” foods around – literally.  No, seriously: we order candy and Goldfish in bulk from Costco!  And there are cupcakes or donuts or other pastries on an almost daily basis!  But it actually feels really good, right now, to be choosing not to eat those foods.

I remind myself often that this is a choice and nothing is forever.  I can choose to eat ice cream tomorrow if I want to.  But last time I did, I didn’t feel very good.  And ice cream isn’t going to disappear off the planet, so who cares if I go a month (or three) without eating it?

I also remind myself that some things (like ice cream or store-bought cookies) are always available and are not worth a “cheat,” while other things (such as my grandmother’s homemade kibbee with fresh pita bread!) are more rare and are worth the splurge!  So far (again, only one day in) nothing has crossed my path that has been rare enough to reverse my decision to be sugar- and grain-free.

So there you have it.  No resolutions, nothing set in stone.  Just a starting point for a year in which I will continue my journey towards a healthier me.

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