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Happy Life!

By on January 3, 2012 in blogging, family, holiday

Wow, can it be that I might actually start posting on a semi-regular basis again?!  Truth be told, I’ve missed this.  It’s totally selfish, but I love writing my blog.  It helps me process my thoughts and feelings.  And it helps me connect with all of you, which might not sound selfish, but really is because I get so much out of the community of people in this health/fitness/weight loss blogging world.  So no promises, but I think I might be back more often now, so long as nothing goes totally crazy in my life.  I’m even *gasp* starting to comment on blogs again – though rest assured, I’ve been reading all along!   You all have kept me company (thank God for iPhones!) during late night feedings since this baby was born, whether you knew it or not!

How were the holidays for everyone?  We had a wonderful time celebrating Christmas with my family.  If you know us, you know that “just us” is still a handful – my parents, my sister and her family of 6 (her, her husband, and FOUR kids ages 1.5 to 16!), my brother, me, hubs, and Alana.  So even a “quiet” family Christmas is loud and chaotic at time, which I absolutely love.  We had a traditional Lebanese meal (kibbee for those of you who are familiar) and broke in the new Kinect my parents bought for my sister’s family.

New Years?  Well, the way we spent our New Year’s Eve is perhaps a testament to our new lives.  We were asleep until about 11:58, when my phone blowing up with “Happy New Year!” texts woke us up ever so briefly.  Then I went back to sleep after kissing my hubs and wishing him (and a sleeping Alana) a Happy New Year and hubs got up to play video games all night.  (Yes, we are just about as opposite as can be!)  And really?  It didn’t feel weird or sad or like anything was missing to not stay up partying until midnight to ring in the new year.  It felt just right to do it the way we did.

Another thing that feels just right is that I’ve not had the usually irresistible compulsion need  to scurry around figuring out what my resolutions are this year.  I’ve never been huge on resolutions.  Let me rephrase that; I don’t really feel strongly about them one way or the other.  I think they are a great tool for some people, a stumbling block for others, or something to which you might be completely ambivalent, like me.

I do, however, think it’s useful many times each year to revisit your goals and vision for your life, and that’s something I’ve been thinking about over the last several weeks.  For me, as fun as the holidays are, they also make me a little introspective as I think about my “year in review”…which naturally leads me to think of the coming year.  Broken down into months, weeks, days, hours, and choices.

So look for a post about that soon.  Where I’m headed this week/month/year.  I am not 100% sure what it will look like yet, but I do know some of what I’m committing to THIS week/month.

How about you?  Are you a resolution person?  Or perhaps you took the holidays/New Year as an opportunity to brush off your goals and update a bit?  Please to share!

Gratuitous baby pic:

Comments { 6 }

Random Thoughts

By on December 27, 2011 in baby, beauty/beautiful, body, emotional stuff, self-image, weight

It used to be that I had tons of time to think and write blog posts, but as I’m sure all of you know (whether from experience or because it’s obvious!), having a baby cramps my blogging style takes up a lot of time.  So I find myself cramming almost everything I used to do with my free time into 60 minutes each work day…my commute.  (I still haven’t figured out how to work out during my commute, but more on that later.)

I was driving the other day thinking about a few things, including the fact that I’m nowhere near my goal weight and that I’ve actually gained a few of the pounds I lost right after giving birth.  And I realized that as badly as I want to start losing weight again and as much as I wish that I hadn’t gained those few pounds, I am not berating myself.  I don’t feel like crap about it.  It’s not the end of the world.

Let me say that again: it’s not the end of the world.

Being heavier than I want to be does not make me a bad person.

It doesn’t make me unworthy or unloveable.

And then I realized that one of the side effects, for me, of motherhood (and I think being in a healthy, loving marriage has also contributed to this!) is that I am learning to love myself and my body just as I am.  Oh, sure, there will be days when this doesn’t feel true.  But you know what?  This body grew my little girl for 9 months, nourished her, kept her safe, and brought her into this world (with a little help)!  Damn if that is not the coolest thing ever.  So how could I possibly hate this body of mine?

The answer is that I can’t.  Not right now.  And that’s a new and amazing thing for me.

What events in your life have taught you to love yourself and your body regardless of its current condition?

Gratuitous baby pic:

Comments { 12 }

More, Please!

By on December 8, 2011 in baby, goals, health, monthly goals

Like I said, I have lots of stuff I want to write about, but if I wait for the posts about the past to be written before I starting writing about now…well, this blog might go extinct!  So I am jumping in with some thoughts about health stuff now.

The first few weeks after I had Alana, I lost weight extremely rapidly.  And it’s a good thing, too – I gained more while pregnant than I planned!   The reasons for the rapid weight loss were, I think, a combination of the increased calorie burn from breastfeeding and the fact that I had a hard time making time to eat.  I know, that probably sounds crazy.  But when you have a newborn who wants to eat every two hours (timed from the start of each feeding, not including actual feeding time…i.e., feeding at 12pm, 2pm, 4pm, etc.) and who wants to be held all. the. time. … well, it doesn’t leave much time for anything.  Much less something that requires two hands.

At about 6 weeks, though, Alana started becoming a bit easier to handle.  She ate less often – every 2-3 hours during the day, but up to 6 hours at night.  And yes, she did the coveted “sleeping through the night” thing at 6 weeks, sleeping 6 hours or more almost every night since then.  (We’re up to 8 hours most nights now.)  We were able to start putting her down for short periods of time (thank God for the swing!).  So my ability to eat regularly returned, and with it my appetite.  All of a sudden I went from not really *feeling* the appetite many say comes along with the breastfeeding calorie burn, to being ravenous almost constantly.

Since then I’ve struggled (and mostly failed) to eat healthily and in normal portions.  And today I realized that I am tired of the negative.  You know – instead of wanting to eat something healthy, feeling like I have to “cut out” something unhealthy.  And I realized that it works better for me mentally to be proactive – to add things in – to pursue the positives that I want in my life, rather than avoiding the negatives.  So here’s what I’m going to do: start setting “positive” goals.  New goals each month or so based on what I need to work on.  Right now, that means adding things in to my diet that I am lacking, such as lots o’ veggies!

Here are my current goals, which are subject to change without notice blah blah blah:

  • Try to eat at least 5 servings of veggies every day.
  • Eat breakfast within 2 hours of waking up every day.
  • Drink 10+ glasses of milk every day.
  • Walk or work out 5 days/week.

I am hoping that adding in the healthy stuff will naturally start to “crowd out” the less healthy stuff.

What do you think?

Comments { 6 }

Hello World

By on December 2, 2011 in baby, blogging, gratitude

I’ve wanted to write this post for 11 weeks.  I’ve started it a million times in my head.  Had a hundred ideas about what I wanted to write.  Actually, I have a whole mental list of the blogs I want to write, including:

  • My daughter’s birth story;
  • How I’m going to get back in shape;
  • How I owe an apology to every mother-friend I ever advised to choose a workout over sleep;
  • And on and on the list goes.

But really?

This is what’s been going on in my world:

September 15, 2011.  11:08 a.m.  Alana Annika.  7 pounds, 9 ounces.  20.5 inches long.  23 hours of labor.  Emergency c-section.

Love.

Adoration.

Sleep-deprivation.

World-changing.

This is what I’ve been living:

And this…

And this…

 

And a lot of these photos are crappy because I take them in the middle of the night with my iPhone.  But how can you resist:

Just a couple more now…

I promise, almost done…

Proud mommy much?  Absolutely.  But really, she is just the most beautiful thing.

And being a mom?

It’s more.

Harder.

Better.

Bigger.

Than I’d ever imagined.

But 100% worth it.

So this is my life now.  It’s almost all of my life for now, as I figure out (a) how to be a mom who (b) works full time and (c) lives without the 8+ hours/night of precious sleep I’ve been addicted to all my life.  Workouts haven’t even hit my radar screen yet.  Well, they have…but right now I’d have to give up sleep to make them happen, so it’s all walking, all the time for this girl.  And Alana comes along, so it’s good bonding time.  And no, it’s not going to be what helps me lose the baby (and then some) weight.  Or get me in shape for Ragnar or the Warrior Dash next year.  But I have my whole life to train and lose weight and run and be fit, and only these few precious weeks to enjoy my newborn.  So that’s what I’m doing.

I’ll write more eventually.  As much as I can, whenever I can.  Which is probably going to be on my lunch break at work for a long time now.  But I’m still here.  Just…figuring out life now.

And know that I’m keeping up with you!  I read your blogs on my phone while breastfeeding, or while waiting in the doctor’s office, or while sitting in court waiting for a hearing to start.  So no commenting yet, but I am listening.  And cheering for you all.  Pulling for you.  Missing being a bigger part of our community.

But really?  This:

This is where I’m at right now.  So I know you understand.  And for that, and for YOU, and for this baby?  I. AM. GRATEFUL.

Welcome to the world, Alana.  Your mommy loves you so much.

Comments { 5 }

Post-Baby Goals

By on August 15, 2011 in goals, pregnancy, running

Yes, it has again been too long since I posted.  And you know what?  I think I’m going to quit saying that over and over again every time I do post.  I know y’all are hanging in there with me and understand that life sometimes doesn’t allow us to post when we want to.  So this is the last time until I forget or feel too guilty again that I will be commenting on this pattern.  :)

Pregnancy is pretty amazing and also quite strange.  I am now 35.5 weeks pregnant; my due date for those of you crazy people who don’t remember that the world revolves around this is September 15.  I can now see the baby moving from outside my body and it’s oddly reminiscent of that scene in Alien…you know the one I’m talking about, right?  Think belly-squirming-alien right before it pops out – that’s what it looks like sometimes!

So far I am blessed to feel pretty darned good.  I do get occasional aches and pains, but overall I am feeling amazing given the fact that I’m 30 pounds heavier (within the healthy range of 25-35 pounds of weight gain for pregnancy) and carrying a baby that is now roughly 6 pounds heavy.  I know that as my due date approaches this might change, but right now I’m just feeling really thankful for how NOT miserable my pregnancy has been.  I know I’m lucky and that many women have a much rougher time being pregnant.

Strange as it might seem, although I am not in a rush for my pregnancy to be over, I have been thinking a LOT lately about my post-pregnancy goals.  Some of you may remember that I signed up for the Warrior Dash and committed to running Ragnar only to find out that I was pregnant and would be unable to complete either of those events.  I don’t begrudge my baby girl either of these things, but having watched my friends complete both events recently has really whetted my appetite for getting back to it once I get back into shape!

So I’m here to say, I’ve got me some goalz, people.  I’ll write about this more in the future, but right now here is the brief sketch of what I’m thinking:

  • Ease into walking (with baby, of course) as quickly as my body allows after I deliver.
  • Once I feel up to it and have my doctor’s clearance, I will start P90X again for strength training.
  • Once I feel up to it/doc’s approval, I will ease back into jogging.  I can’t wait for this, even though I know I’ve lost a LOT of my running fitness and will have to start slow!
  • Warrior Dash and Ragnar are roughly 9 months after my due date…so I’m thinking participating in both events might be in my future.  9 months post-partum seems reasonable for this, no?

Anyhow, just wanted to share what’s on my mind.  I’m still keeping up with y’all via your blogs and have even *gasp* been spotted on Twitter recently!   Would love to hear from you here or there if you want to say hi.  :)

Comments { 10 }