Archive | blogging RSS feed for this section

It’s a Blur

By on April 21, 2012 in blogging

Life, that is.  I  mean this in the best way possible, but sometimes I wish life came with a “pause” button.  My girl is growing so fast – she’s 7 months old already!  Wearing 12 month clothing!  Sitting up, rolling over, and chattering away.  In that, she’s her momma’s girl.

And it’s already April.  Really?  I’m just now getting used to writing 2012 on my checks okay I never write checks it being a new year, and the year’s already one third over.  And now I officially sound like one of those old people I used to scoff at when I was a child.

I keep wondering if it’s time to let the blog go, if this was a season of my life that has now passed and I should move on.  I haven’t decided, hence this post to say hello and I’m still here.  I read all of your blogs, but commenting is rare since I’m usually reading on my phone while using the bathroom (oh, stop, you know you do it, too!) waiting in line sitting at a red light falling asleep at night.

I’m not ready to say goodbye yet, so I won’t.  I’ll just know that I can come say “hi” whenever I slow down enough to remember to do it.  And I’ll keep up with you all, even if I can’t tell you that I’m doing it since commenting is so hard from my phone.  And hopefully a few of you will stick around to see what happens next with me…

 

Comments { 2 }

Happy Life!

By on January 3, 2012 in blogging, family, holiday

Wow, can it be that I might actually start posting on a semi-regular basis again?!  Truth be told, I’ve missed this.  It’s totally selfish, but I love writing my blog.  It helps me process my thoughts and feelings.  And it helps me connect with all of you, which might not sound selfish, but really is because I get so much out of the community of people in this health/fitness/weight loss blogging world.  So no promises, but I think I might be back more often now, so long as nothing goes totally crazy in my life.  I’m even *gasp* starting to comment on blogs again – though rest assured, I’ve been reading all along!   You all have kept me company (thank God for iPhones!) during late night feedings since this baby was born, whether you knew it or not!

How were the holidays for everyone?  We had a wonderful time celebrating Christmas with my family.  If you know us, you know that “just us” is still a handful – my parents, my sister and her family of 6 (her, her husband, and FOUR kids ages 1.5 to 16!), my brother, me, hubs, and Alana.  So even a “quiet” family Christmas is loud and chaotic at time, which I absolutely love.  We had a traditional Lebanese meal (kibbee for those of you who are familiar) and broke in the new Kinect my parents bought for my sister’s family.

New Years?  Well, the way we spent our New Year’s Eve is perhaps a testament to our new lives.  We were asleep until about 11:58, when my phone blowing up with “Happy New Year!” texts woke us up ever so briefly.  Then I went back to sleep after kissing my hubs and wishing him (and a sleeping Alana) a Happy New Year and hubs got up to play video games all night.  (Yes, we are just about as opposite as can be!)  And really?  It didn’t feel weird or sad or like anything was missing to not stay up partying until midnight to ring in the new year.  It felt just right to do it the way we did.

Another thing that feels just right is that I’ve not had the usually irresistible compulsion need  to scurry around figuring out what my resolutions are this year.  I’ve never been huge on resolutions.  Let me rephrase that; I don’t really feel strongly about them one way or the other.  I think they are a great tool for some people, a stumbling block for others, or something to which you might be completely ambivalent, like me.

I do, however, think it’s useful many times each year to revisit your goals and vision for your life, and that’s something I’ve been thinking about over the last several weeks.  For me, as fun as the holidays are, they also make me a little introspective as I think about my “year in review”…which naturally leads me to think of the coming year.  Broken down into months, weeks, days, hours, and choices.

So look for a post about that soon.  Where I’m headed this week/month/year.  I am not 100% sure what it will look like yet, but I do know some of what I’m committing to THIS week/month.

How about you?  Are you a resolution person?  Or perhaps you took the holidays/New Year as an opportunity to brush off your goals and update a bit?  Please to share!

Gratuitous baby pic:

Comments { 6 }

Hello World

By on December 2, 2011 in baby, blogging, gratitude

I’ve wanted to write this post for 11 weeks.  I’ve started it a million times in my head.  Had a hundred ideas about what I wanted to write.  Actually, I have a whole mental list of the blogs I want to write, including:

  • My daughter’s birth story;
  • How I’m going to get back in shape;
  • How I owe an apology to every mother-friend I ever advised to choose a workout over sleep;
  • And on and on the list goes.

But really?

This is what’s been going on in my world:

September 15, 2011.  11:08 a.m.  Alana Annika.  7 pounds, 9 ounces.  20.5 inches long.  23 hours of labor.  Emergency c-section.

Love.

Adoration.

Sleep-deprivation.

World-changing.

This is what I’ve been living:

And this…

And this…

 

And a lot of these photos are crappy because I take them in the middle of the night with my iPhone.  But how can you resist:

Just a couple more now…

I promise, almost done…

Proud mommy much?  Absolutely.  But really, she is just the most beautiful thing.

And being a mom?

It’s more.

Harder.

Better.

Bigger.

Than I’d ever imagined.

But 100% worth it.

So this is my life now.  It’s almost all of my life for now, as I figure out (a) how to be a mom who (b) works full time and (c) lives without the 8+ hours/night of precious sleep I’ve been addicted to all my life.  Workouts haven’t even hit my radar screen yet.  Well, they have…but right now I’d have to give up sleep to make them happen, so it’s all walking, all the time for this girl.  And Alana comes along, so it’s good bonding time.  And no, it’s not going to be what helps me lose the baby (and then some) weight.  Or get me in shape for Ragnar or the Warrior Dash next year.  But I have my whole life to train and lose weight and run and be fit, and only these few precious weeks to enjoy my newborn.  So that’s what I’m doing.

I’ll write more eventually.  As much as I can, whenever I can.  Which is probably going to be on my lunch break at work for a long time now.  But I’m still here.  Just…figuring out life now.

And know that I’m keeping up with you!  I read your blogs on my phone while breastfeeding, or while waiting in the doctor’s office, or while sitting in court waiting for a hearing to start.  So no commenting yet, but I am listening.  And cheering for you all.  Pulling for you.  Missing being a bigger part of our community.

But really?  This:

This is where I’m at right now.  So I know you understand.  And for that, and for YOU, and for this baby?  I. AM. GRATEFUL.

Welcome to the world, Alana.  Your mommy loves you so much.

Comments { 5 }

Where to Begin…

By on June 13, 2011 in blogging, fear, pregnancy

You know how it goes, right?  You should have called that friend months ago.  And at first, you only put it off for a few days.  “I’ll call next weekend when it’s not so busy.”  Only next weekend never comes, and never does “tomorrow” or “later” or any of the other “right times” that you anticipate.  At a certain point, you pass a line (you know the line I’m talking about) beyond which it becomes embarrassing to call, you know?  You imagine that your friend might be offended by your really tardy call, but if you don’t call at all, you don’t have to deal with the awkwardness…

In some ways, that’s how I’ve been feeling about the blog.  I miss being here.  I miss writing through my thoughts and feelings.  Everything that’s going on with me is so different than my life before pregnancy, it feels a little weird to come here to the SeattleRunnerGirl blog and write about it!  I don’t want to turn this into a pregnancy blog or a mommy blog, but the more I think about it, the more I realize that is me worrying about what someone else might think.  Writing (or not writing) because of another person’s opinion, instead of because this blog has been a necessity for me.

I called the blog SeattleRunnerGirl when I started because it fit – literally and figuratively.  I was learning how to run physically, and using that as one of my tools to lose weight.  And then I fell in love with running (who knew?!) in the process.  But I was also running figuratively - away from unhealth, away from denial of feelings, away from self-medication with food…and towards life.  Towards living and loving and experiencing everything as fully as I knew how, every day.

I’m still doing that.  It looks really different right now!  And after the baby comes, it’ll look even more different, though some of it might be the same.

Right now, though, I have a choice.  I can either let these changes make me feel awkward – like that phone call that’s been left just a little too long – and keep me away from the blog.  Or I can say, “this is my life” and know that those of you who are on this journey with me will understand…that life?  It’s not just about running (literally or figuratively).  And it’s not just about weight loss, or pregnancy, or babies, or whatever.  It’s just…life.  In all it’s mixed-up, ever-changing, beautiful, heart-breaking crazyness.

I guess that’s my long-winded way of saying I’m back.  I’m not really sure what “back” looks like right now, because I’m still working 50-60 hours/week (down from 70+ so happy girl here!).  I’m still pregnant and balancing what it means for me to stay healthy without obsessing about weight and workouts and numbers.  So “back” for now might just mean posting once a week.  And always, always reading your blogs – I’m out here!  I comment now and then, but I am always reading, so please know that – I’m with you!  And I need you with me; hence being “back.”

Hang with me while I figure out what that looks like, will you?

Comments { 6 }

Sheesh…

By on May 11, 2011 in blogging, body, fat, pregnancy, running

How’s that for a creative title?  I can’t believe how long it’s been since I’ve written.  I miss it.  I miss YOU.  And there’s not really much new to tell, which I guess is a good thing, right?

These days, I’m spending a lot more of my time looking like this:

Than like this:

Don’t you love these avatars?  When I saw how cute Bella’s were, I had to be a copy-cat have some for myself, so I asked the artist Meghan Murphy to hook me up…boy, did she ever!  I’ve got another one for my pregnancy:

And finally one for when I’m just kicking around:

Because, you know, I kick around in my pink heels all the time, don’t ya know??

In any case, this is a long (and cute!) way of saying the following:

  • I’m still working too much and looking forward to being able to say I “only” worked a 50 hour work week;
  • I’m still pregnant and feeling as big as a house;
  • We found out the baby’s a girl! at our 20 week ultrasound two weeks ago;
  • I’m not working out a ton but the times I have include jogging and it’s amazing to me that I can still do it and it feels awesome;
  • None of my clothes fit me anymore but somehow I’m not resenting this “getting fat” business…maybe because it’s for a good cause.  (And yes, I know I’m not “getting fat,” please don’t get mad at me, but sometimes even though I know there’s a baby underneath all of this still-50-pounds-overweight-when-I-got-pregnant belly, it feels like getting fat, you know?)

So, anyways…enough about me.  Now you.  What’s new?  I’m reading your blogs and commenting when I can, which isn’t often since my reading time?  Is often on my phone while I’m sitting at a red light or sitting in court waiting for a hearing to start.

What’s new with you?

 

Comments { 8 }