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Something to Chew on…Time for Tough Love

Without further ado, please enjoy today’s guest post from our friend Betsy!

I’ve tried being gentle and loving with myself when it comes to my weight loss and healthy-living efforts, but all that has gotten me is a warm-fuzzy feeling coupled with bouts of self-loathing and desperation, so the hell with that. I’m resorting to tough love. To help guide me on this never-before-traversed-tough-love path I’ve created and implemented a plan based on the advice outlined in the two books (Kessler and Beck) I discussed in my last post.

What are the goals of this plan?

  1. To eliminate the chaos that surrounds mealtimes.
  2. To break my desire for, and emotional dependence on hyperpalatable foods.
  3. To reframe my relationship with food: i.e. food is for fuel (family, friends and activity are for reward and comfort).

What is the plan? It’s pretty basic because if I set too many rules I tend to forget about them or lose track of them or mix them up and reverse them and return to my habitual eating. So “don’t eat after 8PM” becomes “eat with abandon after 8PM.” So my plan goes like this:

  1. ELIMINATE all sugar, white flours, pastas, junk food, cakes, chips, processed foods, and fast food.
  2. Set mealtimes in advance and eat ONLY at those times.
  3. Spend a few minutes each day creating the next day’s meal plan.
  4. Select a few meal options for each meal (breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack) and eat them again and again and again.
  5. Complete Beck’s Success Skills (Stage 1) for seven consecutive days and then assess. (I need to assess today!)

I have to tell you that I am VERY proud of myself for including the word and action “ELIMINATE” in my plan because I usually lean towards the healthy living camp that frowns upon eliminating food types as it is said that can lead to a nasty mentality of deprivation thus leading to cravings and overindulgence. But alas, I’ve tried (and tried and tried and tried) to keep all foods fair game, in moderation, and that has not worked for me. At all. So in a moment of bravery and tough love, I have given up those foods that have comforted me for 30+ years. I have finally admitted to myself that reaching my goal (of being a fit, healthy person) will not be attained by consuming my trigger foods. It just isn’t gonna happen that way for me.

In preparation for launching my new plan I held a multi-day event called The Great Food Funerals of 2011. During this time I enjoyed my go-to comfort foods, thanked them for the years of support, told them I no longer needed them, and released them and asked them to release me. I realize this sounds ridiculous but I am one for grand gestures when it comes to life changing moments, and this farewell to my food faves deserved a proper send off.

It’s day eight since I implemented this plan and I’m finding Beck’s whole “NO CHOICE” approach a huge relief. The moment my mind starts going down that road of trying to justify giving into a food craving that isn’t in my day’s eating plan, I take a deep breath and say, “NO CHOICE.” And then there is a blissful silence. My mind doesn’t try to tell me I deserve it, or just this once won’t be a big deal, or that I should eat it because I want it and I’m an adult and get to make my own decisions so just go ahead and enjoy it. When I say, “NO CHOICE” all of that chatter evaporates. It’s so simplistic that I’m amazed it’s working for me.

I’m also amazed because I found this approach tedious and difficult just a few months ago. Obviously, I wasn’t ready to make these changes and so I resisted them with fervor akin to a televangelist. But today I’m ready because I am tired of expending all of my energy fighting with myself in a battle over food. It’s just so darn tedious to constantly be engaged in a battle of wills with myself. It’s also quite absurd and such a self-centered use of my precious life energy. So enough. Enough.

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Something to Chew on…I’m not a weak-minded fatty!

Please enjoy this guest post from our friend Betsy!

So I’ve been doing all sorts of reading and thinking and journaling and planning about food and weight loss, and food and healthy living, and food and me, and me and food and well, food. Like many of you I’ve used food to soothe my battered ego, comfort my lonely-bored-happy-sad-stressed-out self, and as a celebration enjoyed with family and friends. And not surprisingly, I don’t know when to stop. Eating, that is.

Thus I have spent my adult life trying to be more mindful, get to the roots of my habitual “reach for the bread/cake/chips” response to anything happening in my life, and, well, basically try to stop shoving gobs of food into my cake hole.

With all of this reading and thinking about food I recently purchased “The End of Overeating” by David A. Kessler and must say I have experienced the long-awaited for paradigm shift where food is concerned. Reading Kessler’s book has helped me discover that I don’t lack willpower (well, okay with some things I definitely lack willpower or gumption or commitment but not when it comes to food) rather I am a victim of crafty food scientists.

While that may be overstating it a bit, what I’ve learned about food and the brain and our bodies’ reactions to certain food/chemical combinations has opened my eyes to a new vision regarding food: The processed stuff isn’t good for me and the more of the junk I eat the more of it my brain will demand.

If you haven’t read the book that statement may not make too much sense so allow me to give you a brief (and simplistic) synopsis:

From the book’s Foreword, “Kessler theorizes that after having been exposed to hyperstimulating foods, some individuals develop what is known as conditioned hypereating.” Kessler goes into detail about how foods, specifically combinations of fat, sugar and salt, trigger responses in our brains much like those that occur when taking certain drugs or after exercising (the brain releases dopamine and/or endorphins) and the mind likes the release of those brain chemicals very, very much (they make us feel good) and so the brain encourages us to eat more of the food that created that pleasure. And as we keep feeding our brains the food that caused the release of those feel-good chemicals we quickly establish pathways in the brain that reinforce this continued behavior. “When it comes to food, we are, in essence, following an eating script that has been written into the circuits of our brains.” (Page 62.)

For example, I’ve had a lousy day at work so on the way home I buy a slice of white frosted yellow cake. When I get home I sit down with this yummy slice of cake and joyfully devour it to “calm me down” and “cheer me up” after said lousy day. My brain likes this sugar-fat laden food and releases those feel-good chemicals in my brain. Next time I’ve had a lousy day and want to “unwind” my brain says, “Hey, try that cake thing again that really worked the last time,” and I obligingly go for the cake. And now I’ve started to create those pathways in my brain that will drive me towards cake when I want to escape my lousy day.

Kessler goes into much greater detail than I have here but let’s suffice it to say the U.S. food industry has figured this out and spends millions (if not billions) of dollars creating foods loaded with fat, sugar and salt as these three ingredients, and better yet these three ingredients in combination, elicit the strongest responses from the brain which drives us to eat more and more and more.

So when I say I’ve had this paradigm shift regarding my views on food, what I’ve experienced is that I now see how these yummy sweet, chewy, soft, salty, crunchy foods are engineered that way to keep me eating and eating and eating. “When we understand our brains’ response to food, and how it drives our lack of control, we can change our approach to eating.” (Page XII.)

I realize this probably doesn’t put me in the best light: that I need to learn the U.S. food industry is purposely trying to get me to eat their crap before I’ll be more inclined to choose healthier foods but that’s what happened. Now just so you don’t think I’m completely out of touch or stupid, I do know, and have known for many years, that processed foods suck and contain zero nutritional value. However, I’ve felt addicted to them. Unable to stop eating them despite the gazillion times I’ve berated myself into a lonely corner chanting, “You weak-minded fatty!”

Here I’ve been thinking for 30 years that I’m a spineless, weak-minded, lacking-in-willpower, fat loser who just can’t say no to certain foods, when in fact my need for comfort coupled with crafty food scientists sent me down a path of overeating. This realization brings me an Everest amount of relief. Why am I relieved? Because now I know where I need to focus my energies. I don’t need to expend my energy on beating myself into eating submission. Rather, I need to break the habit. I need to ditch the processed stuff not just for the sake of my health and my waistline but also for the sake of my brain. I must bust the I-feel-bored-so-I’ll-eat-junk-food cycle.

How shall I bust the cycle? By eliminating all overly processed foods from my diet and establishing new habits for comfort and reward. Kessler outlines strategies in the final chapters of his book and my darling friend Val (aka SeattleRunnerGirl) gifted me “The Complete Beck Diet for Life” book so between these two books I’ve got the tools needed to make this paradigm shift a reality.

I am feeling confident that I can shed my eating-for-comfort cycle and establish new ways to relax and reward myself thanks to this new information. And I am further bolstered by my horoscope (courtesy of Free Will Astrology) for the coming week:

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): In the early 20th century, many women at the beach covered most of their bodies with swimsuits made of wool. If they went in the water, they’d emerge about 20 pounds heavier. Swimming was a challenge. Your current psychic state has resemblances to what you’d feel like if you were wearing drenched woolen underwear and a drenched woolen clown suit and a drenched woolen robe. My advice? Take it off; take it all off. The astrological omens are clear: Whatever your reasons were for being in this get-up in the first place are no longer valid.

So now I’m off on The Great Nix-the-Processed-Foods-from-My-Diet Experiment of 2011. Wish me luck and stay tuned! Got any tips you wanna share with me? Have you read Kessler’s “The End of Overeating” or Beck’s “The Complete Beck Diet for Life”?

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