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Baby Steps

By on January 4, 2012 in eating, food, goals, health, Paleo, weight

So it’s no secret that I had a baby in September.  I had just gotten under 200 pounds for the first time in my adult life when I found out I was pregnant!  Although I imagined gaining weight would feel tough on me mentally/emotionally, it really wasn’t.  Not that I wanted to go crazy, mind you.  But knowing that my body was nourishing my baby made me surprisingly okay with the weight gain.  I was right on schedule for a very healthy weight gain until about the last month of my pregnancy, when I gained weight more quickly, resulting in a total weight gain of about 45 pounds – gulp!

Right after I gave birth, I started losing weight like CRAZY!  Taking care of a newborn full-time (and the resulting loss of two-handed-ness) combined with breast-feeding meant that I had lost nearly 30 pounds in 6 weeks.  Then I went back to work.  And, you guessed it, gained some of that weight BACK!  I got my hands back, my milk supply dipped a bit (pumping just isn’t as effective as the baby at keeping the supply going!), I wasn’t taking care of a baby 24×7, and boredom eating in front of the computer snuck back in.

Long story short, I’m still down about 20 pounds from my highest pregnancy weight, but that means I’ve got 25 pounds of pregnancy weight to lose, plus the 10 or so pounds of holiday weight I gained last year right before getting pregnant!  Are you still with me?

In any case, I’m not ready to make weight loss my priority and I’m not going to do anything drastic because that could jeopardize my milk supply, something I’m not willing to do.  But I do want to start making the move towards healthier eating habits both for me and my baby.  So here is my loose plan (subject to revision if anything messes with my milk supply or just doesn’t feel right):

  • Starting yesterday, I am off sugar, grains, and processed foods.  This is with the thought that eventually I will transition to the Paleo way of eating at least 80-90% of the time.
  • Next (probably next week but nothing is set in stone) I will eliminate legumes and reduce my dairy intake.  I’ve decided to do that more gradually (rather than eliminating dairy altogether) and really watch closely to see if/how it impacts my milk production.
  • I am committing to a 20 minute walk 5 days/week.  This is a VERY small step and a time commitment I know I can follow-through on, so if I don’t, it’s just because I chose not to make it a priority.
  • Within the next 4-6 weeks, I will start my one month of unlimited CrossFit.

So far (one day in), being sugar and grain free has been okay.  Of course I think of sugary foods or bread (I love sandwiches!) often and have had to say “no” to several cravings.  And of course, my office just happens to be one of those offices where there are constantly “treat” foods around – literally.  No, seriously: we order candy and Goldfish in bulk from Costco!  And there are cupcakes or donuts or other pastries on an almost daily basis!  But it actually feels really good, right now, to be choosing not to eat those foods.

I remind myself often that this is a choice and nothing is forever.  I can choose to eat ice cream tomorrow if I want to.  But last time I did, I didn’t feel very good.  And ice cream isn’t going to disappear off the planet, so who cares if I go a month (or three) without eating it?

I also remind myself that some things (like ice cream or store-bought cookies) are always available and are not worth a “cheat,” while other things (such as my grandmother’s homemade kibbee with fresh pita bread!) are more rare and are worth the splurge!  So far (again, only one day in) nothing has crossed my path that has been rare enough to reverse my decision to be sugar- and grain-free.

So there you have it.  No resolutions, nothing set in stone.  Just a starting point for a year in which I will continue my journey towards a healthier me.

Comments { 8 }

More, Please!

By on December 8, 2011 in baby, goals, health, monthly goals

Like I said, I have lots of stuff I want to write about, but if I wait for the posts about the past to be written before I starting writing about now…well, this blog might go extinct!  So I am jumping in with some thoughts about health stuff now.

The first few weeks after I had Alana, I lost weight extremely rapidly.  And it’s a good thing, too – I gained more while pregnant than I planned!   The reasons for the rapid weight loss were, I think, a combination of the increased calorie burn from breastfeeding and the fact that I had a hard time making time to eat.  I know, that probably sounds crazy.  But when you have a newborn who wants to eat every two hours (timed from the start of each feeding, not including actual feeding time…i.e., feeding at 12pm, 2pm, 4pm, etc.) and who wants to be held all. the. time. … well, it doesn’t leave much time for anything.  Much less something that requires two hands.

At about 6 weeks, though, Alana started becoming a bit easier to handle.  She ate less often – every 2-3 hours during the day, but up to 6 hours at night.  And yes, she did the coveted “sleeping through the night” thing at 6 weeks, sleeping 6 hours or more almost every night since then.  (We’re up to 8 hours most nights now.)  We were able to start putting her down for short periods of time (thank God for the swing!).  So my ability to eat regularly returned, and with it my appetite.  All of a sudden I went from not really *feeling* the appetite many say comes along with the breastfeeding calorie burn, to being ravenous almost constantly.

Since then I’ve struggled (and mostly failed) to eat healthily and in normal portions.  And today I realized that I am tired of the negative.  You know – instead of wanting to eat something healthy, feeling like I have to “cut out” something unhealthy.  And I realized that it works better for me mentally to be proactive – to add things in – to pursue the positives that I want in my life, rather than avoiding the negatives.  So here’s what I’m going to do: start setting “positive” goals.  New goals each month or so based on what I need to work on.  Right now, that means adding things in to my diet that I am lacking, such as lots o’ veggies!

Here are my current goals, which are subject to change without notice blah blah blah:

  • Try to eat at least 5 servings of veggies every day.
  • Eat breakfast within 2 hours of waking up every day.
  • Drink 10+ glasses of milk every day.
  • Walk or work out 5 days/week.

I am hoping that adding in the healthy stuff will naturally start to “crowd out” the less healthy stuff.

What do you think?

Comments { 6 }

Doing it All? (Guest Post)

By on March 24, 2011 in consistency/commitment, guest post, health, P90X, working out

Let me begin with an introduction.  I am:

A wife
A mommy of three little boys (ages 6, 3, & 1)
A full-time prosecuting attorney (felony domestic violence and child abuse cases)
A Jesus lover
A facilitator of an online classroom (internet teacher)
A Children’s Pastor
A daughter
A friend
An aunt

AND a person who REALLY wants to make being healthy a priority.

I recently told my husband that I’m AWESOME at juggling the balls when they’re all up in the air; it’s when one falls that it becomes difficult to keep the others going.  This is the truth of my busy life!

A lot of times when I first meet people, or I am chatting with someone I don’t know very well and I’m sharing about myself, many people ask:  how do you do it all?  The answer is simple:  I don’t.  The truth is, if I’m honest with myself, the challenges for me are the same as for others:  what’s important is recognizing my challenges and being inspired by them INSTEAD of being frustrated.

I am a very driven person!  I love to set goals, accomplish things, be busy, get lots of things done, finish to-do lists, etc.  Nothing excites me more than seeing my calendar FULL at the beginning of the day and shutting my computer down after a full day of work and getting everything done that I had in mind for the day.

Okay, enough with the self-promotion, right?  So after my third son was born, I was determined to “get my body back!”  I decided to make nutrition, weight loss, exercise, and general health a major priority in my life; just what I needed, right, one more thing “to do.”

For me, getting healthy included a few goals:  cutting out all sodas (I could write a whole OTHER blog about how much I love Coke.  It sounds ridiculous, but it’s true); getting to a weight that put me in a “healthy” BMI category; making working out/being active a daily part of my life; cutting out all artificial sweeteners; cutting out high fructose corn syrup; making daily choices that included foods that give me energy, not just satisfaction; and doing this all with the support/companionship of my husband.

I wanted to make the food changes because I want to have a healthy relationship with food:  no more emotional eating.  I wanted to make the active lifestyle changes because I have three small boys and nothing gives me more pleasure than the idea of being an “active” family together (swimming, biking, playing, hiking, whatever) for as long as we can.

I know my “journey” into becoming healthier is only beginning, but the biggest struggle for me at this point is fitting it in.  Right now, because of the ages of my kids, my work schedule, and the program I’m doing (I too am a P90X do-er), the time that works best is 5 a.m.  Gag. Me. With. A. Spoon.  I am NOT a morning person.  Keeping the motivation to “be healthy” is REALLY hard when it comes at five in the morning.

That being said, when I start my day with a workout, things are SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO much better for me.  I feel strong.  I feel good that I got my workout in.  I feel ready for my day.  The endorphin dump while I drive to work is a great plus in traffic!  Just like everything else I’m learning in this journey, so much of my struggle comes down to my ability to make the best choice for myself at that moment.  When my kids are sick and not sleeping, hitting snooze and fitting my workout in after their bedtime that night might be the best choice.  And if it’s NOT the best choice (I guarantee that when I’m working out at 9:30 p.m., I WILL wish I had just gotten up early), I can try again another day.

So from a full time working mama + [insert any other title above here], there is an answer to the eternal question:  “how do you do it all?”  The answer is that you can’t do it all, but you CAN DO what you CAN do for today to make the most of your life, your body, and your choices.  And if you struggle today, there’s always tomorrow!

Blessings to you all…

Comments { 4 }

Something to Chew on…Time for Tough Love

By on February 4, 2011 in Betsy, consistency/commitment, eating, End of Overeating, food, goals, guest post, health, plan, Uncategorized

Without further ado, please enjoy today’s guest post from our friend Betsy!

I’ve tried being gentle and loving with myself when it comes to my weight loss and healthy-living efforts, but all that has gotten me is a warm-fuzzy feeling coupled with bouts of self-loathing and desperation, so the hell with that. I’m resorting to tough love. To help guide me on this never-before-traversed-tough-love path I’ve created and implemented a plan based on the advice outlined in the two books (Kessler and Beck) I discussed in my last post.

What are the goals of this plan?

  1. To eliminate the chaos that surrounds mealtimes.
  2. To break my desire for, and emotional dependence on hyperpalatable foods.
  3. To reframe my relationship with food: i.e. food is for fuel (family, friends and activity are for reward and comfort).

What is the plan? It’s pretty basic because if I set too many rules I tend to forget about them or lose track of them or mix them up and reverse them and return to my habitual eating. So “don’t eat after 8PM” becomes “eat with abandon after 8PM.” So my plan goes like this:

  1. ELIMINATE all sugar, white flours, pastas, junk food, cakes, chips, processed foods, and fast food.
  2. Set mealtimes in advance and eat ONLY at those times.
  3. Spend a few minutes each day creating the next day’s meal plan.
  4. Select a few meal options for each meal (breakfast, lunch, dinner, snack) and eat them again and again and again.
  5. Complete Beck’s Success Skills (Stage 1) for seven consecutive days and then assess. (I need to assess today!)

I have to tell you that I am VERY proud of myself for including the word and action “ELIMINATE” in my plan because I usually lean towards the healthy living camp that frowns upon eliminating food types as it is said that can lead to a nasty mentality of deprivation thus leading to cravings and overindulgence. But alas, I’ve tried (and tried and tried and tried) to keep all foods fair game, in moderation, and that has not worked for me. At all. So in a moment of bravery and tough love, I have given up those foods that have comforted me for 30+ years. I have finally admitted to myself that reaching my goal (of being a fit, healthy person) will not be attained by consuming my trigger foods. It just isn’t gonna happen that way for me.

In preparation for launching my new plan I held a multi-day event called The Great Food Funerals of 2011. During this time I enjoyed my go-to comfort foods, thanked them for the years of support, told them I no longer needed them, and released them and asked them to release me. I realize this sounds ridiculous but I am one for grand gestures when it comes to life changing moments, and this farewell to my food faves deserved a proper send off.

It’s day eight since I implemented this plan and I’m finding Beck’s whole “NO CHOICE” approach a huge relief. The moment my mind starts going down that road of trying to justify giving into a food craving that isn’t in my day’s eating plan, I take a deep breath and say, “NO CHOICE.” And then there is a blissful silence. My mind doesn’t try to tell me I deserve it, or just this once won’t be a big deal, or that I should eat it because I want it and I’m an adult and get to make my own decisions so just go ahead and enjoy it. When I say, “NO CHOICE” all of that chatter evaporates. It’s so simplistic that I’m amazed it’s working for me.

I’m also amazed because I found this approach tedious and difficult just a few months ago. Obviously, I wasn’t ready to make these changes and so I resisted them with fervor akin to a televangelist. But today I’m ready because I am tired of expending all of my energy fighting with myself in a battle over food. It’s just so darn tedious to constantly be engaged in a battle of wills with myself. It’s also quite absurd and such a self-centered use of my precious life energy. So enough. Enough.

Comments { 9 }

What’s Your Motivation?

By on January 31, 2011 in determination/motivation, emotional stuff, health, hope/inspiration, weight

I’ve had this draft sitting in my “posts” folder for a while and for some reason, I found it hard to write this post.  Why?  I’m not sure, but maybe it’s because I’m in a kind of “limbo” right now with respect to the source of my motivation.  For a long time, I was motivated by feeling like crap about myself.  It’s easy to “want” to lose weight when you’re 100+ pounds overweight!  Ironically, though, the more weight you lose, the less motivated you may become if “not being fat” is your motivation.

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about what my motivations are with respect to weight.  And I realized that it’s really not about my weight anymore.  Although I do still want to lose more weight – a fair chunk, actually – the way I feel now is amazing, night-and-day better than how I felt for all the years I was morbidly obese.  There’s a quote I’ve heard that I will proceed to totally butcher here that gets my point across, and it goes something like this: change comes when the pain of your current circumstances is bad enough to make you move from point a (here) to point b (anywhere other than here).

Well what happens when the pain of here isn’t so painful anymore?  You’ve gone from shopping in plus-size stores/departments your whole life to buying clothes in the “normal” stores or at Costco.  You’ve gone from pain in your lower back or knees or feet or all of the above to feeling vital and healthy.  No longer do you struggle to sleep well because of breathing issues or back pain.  And so on – the benefits of the weight you’ve lost are outstanding and lessen the urgency of the need to lose more weight nowquickfastandinahurry!

That’s when the real, lasting reasons for weight loss kick in.  Or when, as has happened for me, weight loss is no longer the goal.  You discover what really makes you tick.  What exercise you love.  What goals you’re dying to achieve.  And the journey becomes less about a number on the scale every day/week/month and more about you becoming the best you that you can be.

It’s not about your spouse.
It’s not about your family.
It’s not for that guy/gal you might meet on Friday night.
It’s not about looking a certain way for anyone else…or at all.
It’s not about your high school reunion.
It’s not about what others think of you.

Instead…

It’s about you.
What you love.
What YOU think of you.
Who you want to be.
How you want your life to look, forever.
Has to be for you, for your life, forEVER.

So, yeah…that’s what I’m thinking about these days.  And I don’t have any answers really, except I know this journey has become a whole lot less about weight loss and a whole lot more about what I want to be.  The life I want to live.  The example I want to set for my future kids.  And the memories I want to cherish when I’m 100+ years old and finally about to kick the bucket.  And I have a feeling that what will matter to me then is not the number on the scale, but the love-joy-connection-community-adventure -ful life that I will have lived.

How about you?  What’s motivating you right now?  Is that motivation going to be enough to get you through this life-long journey?

Comments { 5 }