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Quickie..but Goodie?

By on March 28, 2012 in determination/motivation, emotional stuff, mindfulness

I have a gazillion posts in my head and no time to write them.  We are busy trying to figure out life as a two-working-parents household.  No complaints here – even with a cold (poor thing), Alana is a joy and we are loving being her mommy and daddy!  And this is nothing that millions of other folks haven’t been through, so I know we’ll eventually settle into what works for us.  Until then?  I’m just holding on tight!

I just had a moment, though.  I was reading this post from Whole9 and one particular part struck me as a great exercise: each time you are craving something you don’t really want to eat (i.e., it doesn’t fit into your healthy lifestyle plan), stop for a moment an figure out which of these five categories might apply:

  • Location (Where are you?)
  • Time (What time is it?)
  • Emotional state (What are you feeling in this moment?)
  • Other people (Who else is around?)
  • Immediately preceding action (What what were you doing prior to the undesired behavior?)

They go on to say: “It doesn’t matter whether you actually succumb to the cue or not – the point is to identify the circumstances that preceded your unwanted routine. ”

Well I haven’t done this “in the moment” but I know myself well enough to go through the list pretty quickly.  Do I do my unhealthy eating at the same place every time?  Nope.  Same time?  Nope.  I can tell you that TWO circumstances stand out as being consistently true when I’m eating like crap: I’m alone, and I’m feeling disconnected.

Hello?!  Light bulb moment, much?

Like anything else, this knowledge is only as good as what I do with it.  And I’m not sure what that is going to be right now.  I can’t even figure out how to fit in cooking healthy meals every day, let alone the gym and everything else I want to do.  And my #1 priority right now is breastfeeding my daughter.  So, revelations are all well and good.  But I don’t want to make yet another promise to myself that I don’t keep.  Like:

I’m going Paleo.
I’m eating mindfully.
I’m running regularly.
I’m quitting sugar.

A few of the many promises I’ve made to myself, only to break them.  And, you know?  Breaking a promise, if you figure out it no longer makes sense for your life, that’s okay.  But that’s not the reason behind all of my broken self-promises.

So my only promise this time is to stick it (and by “it” I mean this realization) in my pipe and chew it stop mixing metaphors smoke it.

And to keep trying.  That I can promise, and that’s one promise I’ve never broken.  I never give up.

Comments { 1 }

Will You Help?

By on December 30, 2010 in emotional stuff, mindfulness, R2P4

As this post is published, I will hopefully be on a plane to Arizona!  I say “hopefully” because I was supposed to leave Wednesday evening!  But when I found out my flight was FOUR HOURS LATE, I called and asked them to put me on a flight this morning instead.  No sense being on a plane at 3:00 a.m. unless I’m on my way to somewhere exotic and foreign.

I was thinking today about being gone for 5 days and what I’d love to see here when I come back.  And you know what?  I gots me some questions and I would love it if y’all would take the time to answer them in the comments.  Do you mind?  I need help and I know you all are just the folks to give it.  So, here goes…

  1. How do you practice mindfulness in your life?  Do you have any suggestions for me as I incorporate this practice into my life?  Not just with respect to food/eating, but definitely that’s a biggie.
  2. How are you working on showing yourself love?  In this post, I talked about a light bulb moment for me, realizing that self-love is a PRACTICE and something to work on every day.  I’m struggling to figure out what that looks like practically.  Any ideas for me?
  3. Do you believe that waking up early is important in living a healthy lifestyle?  If you are not an early bird by nature but you get up early anyway, do you have some tips for how to make that transition?
  4. Do you have any crock pot recipes that you can share with me?  I want to get back to homemade cooking more often, and the crock pot is a great tool for doing this more often without feeling like I’m standing over a stove 5+ hours/week!

I think that’s all for now…but I reserve the right to add more questions!

And…since you’re helping me, please tell me if I/we can help you!  Questions?  Request for support?  Bring ‘em on!

Comments { 7 }

Where I’m At

By on December 28, 2010 in emotional stuff, gratitude, mindfulness, R2P4

Hey there!  Late afternoon post – evidence of the crazy that is my week!  No complaints, though – the crazy is all work-related and pretty normal since I’m gearing up to take a WHOLE WEEK off work!  I’m flying down to Arizona tomorrow to meet up with my husband and spend the week with his family.  It’s 60 degrees down there today – fingers crossed that it lasts!  I just got back to work from a pedicure to make my toes sun-worthy, and tonight I’m going shopping for a carry-on suitcase so I can avoid the madness that is checking bags.

Health-wise I am in a good place right now.  I realized I was getting all stressed out about finding “the perfect thing” for me in terms of my method of maintenance.  Then once I got all un-stupid, I realized that I won’t find my perfect fit overnight.  And that’s okay.  I am doing a lot of things I know I want to do forever – working out, running, getting stronger, learning to love my body, working on becoming more mindful.  All of the other stuff can wait, and will come over time.

I’m reading more of the Tim Ferriss book I mentioned last week, The 4-Hour Body, and it’s fascinating.  Not so much what he tells you to do, but the idea that he spent so much time basically “hacking” his body and figuring out what works.  And I realized last night while reading, that that’s what I want to do.  My desire is to spend my life “hacking” my body.  What foods make me feel best?  Which ones make me break out (sugar)?  How many workouts per week, and what kind, make my body feel its best?

Also?  No more of the beating myself up.  No more feeling like a failure because I messed up on the no sugar challenge I agreed to with Tara and Thais.  Not that I’m giving up – far from it.  But I realized today (anew, as I have been doing lots lately) that feeling shame over a mistake is not productive for me.  And it’s not loving to me.

Speaking of loving me, have you read Karen’s guest post over at Miz’s place today?  If not, please do.  No, seriously – skedaddle.  We’ll still be here when you’re done.  It spoke to me in this way: loving yourself is a practice.  Meaning, for me, that it requires PRACTICE.  It’s not something that will suddenly happen overnight, and certainly not if I don’t make it a priority.  So I am going to think about ways to make this a priority for me from now on.  The practice of loving myself wherever I am, no matter my circumstances.

So that’s me today.  Having a great day filled with enough sleep, productivity at work, good healthy YUMMY eats, no sugar, and working on the self-love.  And, really?  Most importantly – figuring out how to be okay with where I’m at, wherever that happens to be.

FYI, I’ll be out of town for a week and will likely not be able to post a whole heck of a lot, so don’t miss me too much.  I’ll be back as often as I can!

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3 Christmas Gifts

By on December 26, 2010 in body, eating, family, food, gratitude, holiday, hunger, mindfulness, R2P4, working out

Good morning, friends!  I hope you all had a lovely Christmas and were able to spend time with your nearest and dearest yesterday.  I had a fantastic day with my family.  It occurred to me as we were sitting around the dinner table last night – just the 11 of us – that our “small” family Christmas might be more than many people can take!  It was loud and crazy and there were kids yelling, a baby crying (not often, though), too many butts in the kitchen, a maze of toys and small pieces to step over in just about every room…and it was perfect!  When you picture my family, start with the family from My Big Fat Greek Wedding…switch the ethnicity from Greek to Lebanese…tone down the crazy by about 50%…and you’ll have a decent idea of what my family is like.

3 Christmas Gifts

Even in the midst of that chaos, I continued to think about some of what I’ve been chewing on lately (pun intended).  And I re-realized (yes, I’m that girl who has to learn the same lesson over and over again…sue me) a few things that made me feel pretty darn silly.  In a good way.  These three realizations are a gift to me, for the reasons outlined below.  I’m sharing them with you in the hopes that maybe something in here will be a gift to you.

Realization #1: I am okay.  I am okay now.  I will be okay in the future.  This doesn’t mean that I will not struggle, stumble, fall, or trip multiple times in life (heck, multiple times per day!).  But one thing being with my family makes me realize?  I’m so blessed.  I’m loved.  I’m not alone.  No matter what I go through in life, I have a whole bunch of people in my corner who would do anything to help me succeed.  What more can I ask?

Realization #2: My body craves exercise.  My plan was to get in a hard cardio workout on Christmas Eve, but one thing (staying up late the night before) led to another (sleeping in) led to another (packing my gym clothes but going to my sister’s house with the intention of stopping at the gym on my way home instead of on the way there), and my workout didn’t happen.  I let it not happen.  And you know what my body told me?  Cut that shit crap out.  My body craves movement now in a way I never realized before, and when I go more than one day without it?  I hear about it.  Harder to sleep.  Back starts to ache.  So, note to self…unless extraordinary circumstances exist, the workout has to be my #1 priority.

Realization #3: This is probably the most important one.  My body is satisfied with far less food than my mind. Maybe this is a no-brainer for y’all, but I think I’m learning this lesson in multiple ways over time.  I realized this last night as I was still feeling full from dinner when I got home at 11:30 p.m.  Granted, we ate late, but this was a mini-revelation for me!  I had eaten over 3 hours before and I was not yet hungry!  And what’s more, I had only eaten one plate of food!  Which was at least half vegetables! 

This body of mine, it is wise.  And it has known ever since I lost this most recent chunk of weight that I don’t need as much food to nourish my body.  My mind?  Not so much.  Lagging behind the body a bit.   Rebelling against what it views as “restriction” and “deprivation” in terms of reduced food intake.  But even though it was kind of a “duh!” moment, it is also so encouraging me to re-learn this lesson.  Because all I have to do is learn to pay more attention to my body than to my brain.  Learning to be mindful of what I am eating and why will be hard, but ever so worth it, because my body knows what it needs…all I have to do is listen.

So along with the new watch and the gift of cash from my parents and the wonderful hand-made ornaments and drawings I received from my family, I am also treating these reminders as gifts, too.  I am encouraged, my friends.  I know what to do.  I know I am capable.  I know the struggle is not over.  But I know now more than ever that I can succeed.  You can, too!

How was your Christmas?  Did the holiday help you remember or realize new things about yourself?

Comments { 14 }

Mindfulness

By on December 23, 2010 in eating, emotional stuff, food, hunger, mindfulness, R2P4

That word up there?  The title of this post?  That one little word, I am realizing, is going to be one of the keys to my life.  To my happiness.  To my ability to maintain a healthy weight for the rest of my life.  I am sure if I went through my blog posts back to the very beginning, I would discover that this is not the first time this word has appeared on this blog.  Nor will it be the last.

Wikipedia has this to say about mindfulness:

Several definitions of mindfulness have been used in modern Western psychology. According to various prominent psychological definitions, Mindfulness refers to a psychological quality that involves

bringing one’s complete attention to the present experience on a moment-to-moment basis

or involves

paying attention in a particular way: on purpose, in the present moment, and nonjudgmentally,

or involves

a kind of nonelaborative, nonjudgmental, present-centered awareness in which each thought, feeling, or sensation that arises in the attentional field is acknowledged and accepted as it is.

Mindfulness is something that I don’t do very well, haven’t made a priority in my life, for a number of reasons.  It requires me to slow down and pay attention to myself, my circumstances, my feelings, my thoughts.  That is uncomfortable for me because I’m not used to it, and it feels like a lot of effort and a lot of time to me.  Another reason I avoid mindfulness is that mindfulness and denial cannot coexist!  And, if I’m being honest, sometimes denial is a lot more comfortable than awareness.  Or, if it’s not comfortable, exactly…at least it’s not painful.  Which mindfulness can be.  I’ve talked before about how I have used food to disconnect with my feelings or circumstances, so if I’m using food like that, you can imagine that choosing to be mindful…to fully experience the feelings that I was trying to avoid to begin with…well, that’s a toughie for me.

I’m realizing even as I type this post that part of the reason I have avoided the practice of mindfulness in my life is fear.  And if you know me at all, you know this does not sit well with me.  I believe that fear is the opposite of faith and love. I want to live my life from a place of faith and love, not from a place of fear.  So here we go…realizing that means I have to give this mindfulness thing a shot.  If for no other reason than I refuse to let fear win.

I wonder where the fear comes from, though.  And I wonder, at what point in my life did I go from the utter and complete mindfulness of the way a child experiences life – fully in the moment! not worried about the future! experiencing every sensation, feeling, and experience as it comes! … well, when did I go from living like that, to living without really living?  Just skating by?  Not really experiencing every moment, but sort of…surfing on the wave of life in a very passive way?  (And yes, I realize that this whole post is a grammatical nightmare. Sue me.)

I feel like I’ve been having a series of mini-revelations lately.  Not really new revelations, but reaffirmations of things I know, but haven’t fully embraced.  Things I’ve realized but had forgotten.  Add this one to the list.  The posts I’ve written lately are coming from a place of introspection.  And, to be honest, some fear.  I haven’t shaken the 15 years of obesity from my mind yet.  There’s a part of me that is afraid this is a dream.  That I will wake up and never have lost the weight.  Or that I will gain it all back again, because after all – that is what I do.

Well, not anymore.  What I do is keep going.  Do the next thing.  Put one foot in front of the other.  Experiment – with workouts, with food, with all of it.  Acknowledge the fear, but refuse to allow it a place in my heart or my decision-making process.

This is not a short trip with a destination.  This is for life.  And that is why this time is different.  I’m in this for life.  Ups and downs.  Good and bad.  Hard and easy.  Whatever it takes.

Right now, what I know is that part of what it will take is slowing down.  Being mindful.  Being in the moment more often than not.  Experiencing all of what life throws my way actively, rather than passively surfing along and getting by.  I don’t know yet exactly how I am going to embrace this whole mindfulness thing.  But I want to do it.

This is where you come in.  Do you practice mindfulness or a similar discipline that requires you to consciously live each moment of life?  Any good books or websites you can refer me to?  Tips for how I can incorporate this practice into my life?  Stories about how practicing mindfulness has changed your life?

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