Tag Archives | diet

I Have Trust Issues

By on December 22, 2010 in emotional stuff, fear, food, gratitude, R2P4, worry

I was talking with my friend (and frequent guest-poster) Betsy recently about Tim Ferriss’ new book The 4-Hour Body: An Uncommon Guide to Rapid Fat-Loss, Incredible Sex, and Becoming Superhuman.  One thing he advocates is sticking to a “slow carb” diet 6 days/week and eating whatever you want one day per week – a cheat day, basically.  A woman who had great success on his slow carb diet kept a notebook with her throughout the week, and every time she craved a particular food, she wrote it down.  Come Saturday, she could have anything she wanted from that list.

I mentioned this to Betsy because I liked the idea of recording my cravings, knowing I could give in to them if I still wanted to on Saturday.  Betsy wisely voiced a concern that this method might create a mindset of deprivation, which as we all know, can be the death knell for any diet.  Here is my response:

Your thoughts about whether the once a week “cheat” day is creating a mindset of deprivation are good ones.  I don’t know if that is how the once per week thing would make me feel.  The reason given in the Ferriss book for doing it that way is that you eat a particular way the rest of the week and then shock your body with a higher calorie day, and in his tests, that has allowed people to lose weight and/or maintain an optimal body weight without TOTALLY cutting out the foods they love.

I think part of why I’m intrigued with the book (and with the Paleo diet, too) is that I am looking for something that will be EASY for me once I reach my goal weight.  I do not want to count calories (or points or anything else, for that matter) for the rest of my life.  I want to maintain a healthy body weight without having to think about it ALL. THE. TIME.  So the 4-Hour Body “diet” is attractive, as is the Paleo method of eating, in that many people have had success at maintenance on those diets without counting everything/anything.

That being said, I realize that part of why I’m casting around for something like that is that I am scared to trust my body.  Or, more accurately, I doubt my ability to trust my BODY instead of letting my MIND (as per your post yesterday) overrule my body in the choices I make.

In other words, now that I have found a weight LOSS method that works for me, I know I will reach my goal weight.  Whether that is in 2 months or 2 years doesn’t really matter to me anymore.  What matters is figuring out, along with the weight LOSS, the healthiest way for me to maintain that weight loss once I reach goal.  Whatever “goal” is.  (As with you, I am divorcing “goal” from a number on the scale more and more, partly because I have no idea how 140 or 160 or 180 will look and feel on my body.)

But I digress.

So, is it a “bad” thing that I am looking for a “method” of maintenance other than simply eating intuitively and trusting my body?  I read a blog post the other day that took issue with the whole intuitive eating idea.  Her thought?  Evolutionarily we are “programmed” to eat as much as we can when we can because of the historic scarcity (or feast & famine) nature of our food sources.  So is it realistic to expect that we can reprogram our brain, which has been programmed for centuries to feast when the opportunity exists, NOT to feast and to instead eat only what we need in that moment?  I don’t know the answer to any of this.

I guess what I AM learning is that I can’t rely on other peoples’ experiences, opinions, and ideas to craft a strategy that works for me.  As MizFit says often, I am the best expert on my body.  And while it is VALUABLE and good to learn from others, at the end of the day I have to trust MYSELF to choose that which is good and healthy and right for my body.

Some days?  That just feels like a big effing responsibility.  And the part that scares me is that I have spent the last 16 years of my life “failing” in this responsibility, so learning to trust myself again is really, really hard.  And did I mention it’s scary?!

So yeah.  That’s where I’m at.

Honestly?  I don’t really have anything to add to this post.  I wrote this straight from my heart and mind onto the screen.  It’s a really honest look at part of what I’m grappling with right now.  And in the spirit of my post yesterday about being thankful, I am…I am actually thankful that this is what I’m struggling with right now.  Because one of the alternatives is that I could still be stuck in my analysis paralysis, stuck in my old habits, stuck in feeling helpless, “stuck” at 250+ pounds with no real, genuine hope of ever losing it.

That being said, I am realizing that a large part of the “work” I have to do to reach my goal weight and maintain it remains to be done.  There are no “easy” answers.  There isn’t one thing that works for all of us.  And that’s not a revelation, really.  Just something I am realizing anew.  And I am embracing it.  I remain committed to doing what it takes, for me, to achieve and maintain a healthy weight.

And I’m going to share the process with all of you, because you help me.  You challenge me.  You love me.  You get me.  And maybe, just maybe, this will help someone else out there.

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The Complete Beck Diet for Life: Success Skills 7-9

By on February 3, 2010 in Uncategorized

I haven’t talked as much about the Beck book lately, but it’s still playing a large part in how I approach my commitment to living healthy and losing weight.  I’ve written a few posts about it already, including posts about Success Skills 1-3, Success Skills 4-6, and one post about whether I agree with Beck’s suggestion that being an “inflexible dieter” is a good approach for me.

Today I want to walk through Success Skills 7-9.  Without further ado, let’s do it!

Success Skill #7: Plan and Monitor your Eating

We’ve all heard the saying “failing to plan is planning to fail.”  And as much as I don’t want this to be true, I find that it is.  Beck suggests that you plan to eat three meals and three snacks per day, and that you plan each day’s food in advance – preferably the night before.  She also directs dieters to track everything they eat.  Finally, she states that in the beginning, it is important to be an inflexible dieter - you stick to your plan no matter what comes up, and you choose to not eat rather than eat outside your plan.

Those of you who have read my post on being an inflexible dieter know how I feel about that concept for me, and in general.  To briefly recap: I think flexibility is one of the keys to long-term success at losing weight and keeping it off.  That being said, I can see the usefulness to a new dieter of this approach in the beginning.  If you are inflexible about sticking to your plan for the first few weeks, you build the habits of eating according to your plan, planning in advance, healthy eating, etc.

Everything else Beck has to say about planning is 100% accurate and useful, in my opinion.  I have proven to myself over and over that planning in advance increases my chances of success exponentially, while failing to plan puts me at much higher risk of random, unhealthy food choices.  So, my verdict on this Skill: doooo eeeeet!

Success Skill #8: Follow Your Plan No Matter What

Oopsie, apparantly I jumped the gun on this one!  See my comments above, as well as my previous post about this concept.  Moving right along…

Success Skill #9: Get Back on Track Right Away

One of my response cards says: “Mistakes are not the end of the world, and they are not the end of your diet, as long as you know how to respond.  Successful maintainers make mistakes, but they recover from them right away.”

Many of us have had this familiar and destructive thought: “Oh, I just totally blew that lunch, I might as well go hog wild for the rest of today since my day is ruined anyways!”  We use that as an excuse to continue eating like crap when the logical choice would be to get back on track right away to minimize the damage we’ve already done.

Beck uses a great analogy to explain why this is faulty thinking; if you got a flat tire, would you throw up your hands in surrender and proceed to slash your remaining three tires?  Or do you have the damage to the one tire repaired and move on?  We all know the answer to this question; now we need to start applying it to our lifestyle and eating choices.

Conclusion

I think the skills Beck introduces her readers to in “Stage 1″ are, overall, extremely practical, useful, and productive.  I have implemented all of these skills, to varying degrees, in my life.  Since I began doing so, I’ve found that I am more mindful of what I eat and I have a harder time blowing off my plan just because I want something different.  This is really working for me.

What’s working for you?  What do you think of the Beck book?  Have you tried putting these skills into practice?

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Help!

By on January 26, 2010 in Uncategorized

No, I haven’t fallen “off the wagon” (we really need to come up with a more modern alternative to this saying, people. I don’t know about you, but I’ve never ridden in a wagon!).  I’m not struggling, although I’m sure my day (week, etc.) for that will come.  I don’t have a particular thing that I need help with.

But some of us do.  Right now, someone who reads this post is struggling and does need encouraging words and helpful ideas to get through a rough spot.  Perhaps there is someone reading this who hasn’t even taken their first step down the road to health and life, but they don’t know where to start, what to do, and where to go to find that information.

So for today, let’s make this blog that place.  I am going to share some of the practices and activities that most help me stay on track, and I’d really love it if you would do.  Let’s share ideas and encouragement  with each other – both the posters and the lurkers who haven’t quite come out of the shadows yet.

I’m going to categorize my list by daily, weekly, and longer-term activities.

Daily

  1. Each morning, I do a naked morning weigh in (NMWI) before I get dressed.  I record that number in my spreadsheet that includes a note about that day’s caloric intake and workout.
  2. Every morning, I also prepare and enjoy a healthy breakfast before I leave home.  Whether it’s oatmeal or eggs or even leftovers from last night’s (healthy) dinner, breaking my fast early and well is key to my success.
  3. Before I leave for work, I pack all of my meals and snacks for the day in my cooler.  Yes, that’s right – I carry a cooler to work.  I used to be embarrassed by this, but not anymore.
  4. Before I leave for work, I also pack a bright pink gym bag with my workout clothes and anything else I might need for the day’s workout.  I know myself, and if I have to come home to get dressed for the gym, chances are high that I will never make it back out the door.
  5. I wear my BodyBugg and glance at it throughout the day.  This helps me stay motivated to go to the gym and also reminds me to get off my duff every now and then even while I’m at work.  So what if my water bottle isn’t quite empty; if I notice my numbers are super low, I’ll make an extra trip up the stairs to the water cooler.  Every little bit of movement helps.
  6. I work out a minimum of 4 days/week, but usually 5 times/week.  I do strength training, I run, and I just discovered Zumba.
  7. When I get home, I eat my planned evening snack and then “close the kitchen for the evening.”  I sit down and plan and track my meals and snacks and workout for the following day, getting everything I take with me in the mornings ready from the night before.
  8. Most days, I write a blog post.  I can’t believe, really, how much this practice has contributed to my success and to the feeling that I’m being accountable.
  9. Most days I also read and comment on a whole host of other weight loss/healthy living blogs.  It’s wonderful to know we are all in this together!
  10. Several times per day, I review a list of the reasons why I want to lose weight, as well as a list of responses I can use when I am tempted to overeat or eat outside of the day’s plan.

Weekly

  1. I go through my recipes, choosing several meals to cook for the week.
  2. From the recipes, I start building my grocery list, adding to it the healthy foods I eat on a regular basis (more on this in a future post).
  3. I head to the grocery store and Costco, if needed, to pick up all the foods I need to be successful at cooking and eating healthily that week.
  4. I put together a workout schedule that takes into account the week’s goals.  Right now, I’m in Week 1 of the Base Phase of Rachel Cosgrove’s Female Body Breakthrough strength training program.  So I copy and prepare my workouts for the week in advance and stick them in my gym bag with my clothes and shoes.
  5. I do my “official” weekly weigh in and do a weekly report or run-down post like this one.
  6. I revisit my list of goals and rewards so I can see what I have to look forward to in the near future!
  7. I revise, if necessary, my list of the reasons why I want to lose weight.  This list changes constantly for me.

Less Often

  1. I try to take an hour or so every now and then to revisit my overall goals and the plan I have for reaching those goals.  My uncle always says that the difference between a dream and a goal is a “+plan”.  i.e., dream + plan = a goal achieved.  I want to achieve my goals, so I try to make this a priority.
  2. I have my husband take progress photos of me on a monthly basis.  I’m not ready to post these publicly, but it provides accountability for me to know that I have them.
  3. I also have my husband help me take my measurements on a regular basis.
  4. I revisit my closet to try on my “skinny” jeans.  (Side note: I just got a pair of jeans buttoned Friday that I haven’t been able to wear in a couple of years!  Woot!)

Whew!  I could really go on and on, but I don’t want this to be all about me.  I want this post to be about you, friends.  So I have a favor to ask.

For those who are starting or struggling, please delurk long enough to post a question (or questions), anonymously if you wish, that you’d like us all to answer.

For anyone (struggling or not!) who has helpful tips to share, please do!  I’d love to know about the things y’all do that contribute to your success.

Edited for daily weigh-in: 251.6.  I’m annoyed, but whatever.

Comments { 8 }

Being an Inflexible Dieter

By on January 18, 2010 in Uncategorized

One of the things Beck talks about in her book is sticking to your plan when you are trying to lose weight.  In general I agree with her advice; if your plan is designed to help you lose weight, and you stick with it, well…you’ll likely lose weight!

However, at one point she goes so far as to say that you should become an “inflexible” dieter.  In fact, that is one of her strategies for success.  I’m not sure I agree with taking things this far – do you?

Take, for example, someone on weight watchers who has a daily allowance of points and also 35 weekly points (and earned activity points) to use anytime they want.  Let’s say this person plans out her whole day for one menu, but has a last-minute opportunity to join friends out for dinner.  Under her WW plan, she has plenty of points to do so and still lose weight this week.  According to Beck, she should turn down the invitation and eat her planned meal (or, go to the restaurant but choose not to eat anything).

I could also use my day yesterday as an example.  I was at my sister’s for the day and since I knew I wanted to be 100% on track for the day, I planned and tracked a day’s worth of meals and packed them in a cooler to take with me.  However, my sister ended up making an awesome, healthy dinner – brown rice, steamed stir fry veggies, and low-sodium teriyaki chicken breast.  According to Beck I should have NOT eaten that healthy meal but eaten my packed food instead.

The way I look at it, you can see “your plan” in two different ways.  Either your specific plan for today, including the specific foods you’ve planned, tracked, and packed for your day.  Or you can see your plan in the broader sense, as the collection of various things you must do to lose weight.  For me, yesterday I wanted to come in well under 2,000 calories, with plenty of protein and limited sodium.  It didn’t really matter to me whether I ate my packed food or the dinner my sister prepared – both would have helped me attain my daily goals.

I will even go so far as to say that I think the opposite of Beck on this point; I think flexibility is one of the most important skills you can develop in life in order to lose weight permanently.  Flexibility means you are able to make healthy choices in any situation.  Flexibility means if your lunch ends up “costing” you more calories than you expected, you can adapt your plan for the rest of the day to make up the difference.

Caveat: I’m not saying you shouldn’t plan, that planning isn’t important, or even that there aren’t days where we really should stick to our exact plan for the day!  I’ve had the greatest success in my life when I’ve made planning my meals and workouts in advance a priority.  I just think that inflexibility is taking things too far.  Like planning, only on crack.

I’d like to hear your thoughts on this point.  Does it seem like I am rationalizing because I just don’t like this part of Beck’s program?  Am I wrong in thinking that flexibility is important?  Am I missing something big?  Or, do you agree with me, and why?

Monday Weigh-in

My daily weigh-in showed the “Saturday meal gain” slowly coming off.  Yesterday I weighed-in at 253.8; today at 253.2.  My last seven weigh-ins are below.

253.2 1/18
253.8 1/17
250.6 1/16
252.2 1/15
253 1/14
251.8 1/13
253 1/12

It’s interesting to note the sometimes random fluctuations in my weight.   I’m liking the information the daily weigh-ins give me.  :)

Comments { 13 }

Friday Roundup & Gaining Wait

By on January 15, 2010 in Uncategorized

No, that’s not a typo – I really meant to say gaining “wait,” not gaining weight.  But that’s part two of this post; part one is a general roundup/report on my week.

First, my daily weigh-in has me at 252.2 today, which is down .8 from yesterday and 3.6 less than last week’s “official” weigh-in on Saturday.  I’ll post my official weekly weigh-in weight tomorrow, of course, but no matter what happens it looks like I’ll post a healthy loss for the week which is wonderful.

My Beck Diet practices have been going well.  Daily I have been:

  1. Checking in with my diet buddy, Andrea, from A Cake for a Wife;
  2. Planning and tracking my food for each day in advance, usually the night before;
  3. Sticking to a reasonable calorie range (under 2,000);
  4. Sticking to my workout plan for the day;
  5. Reading my advantages and response cards twice daily, and making new cards whenever I think of something good;
  6. Giving myself credit for all the good choices I’m making; and
  7. Weighing in.

I navigated a tricky day yesterday where I had no time for a sit-down breakfast and I ate out at a restaurant; I made good choices and did the best I could, which, as it turns out, is GOOD ENOUGH.

That’s what I’m learning this week: I am good enough.  I am strong enough.  I am smart enough.  I have all the skills and tools required to choose, day after day, meal after meal, and minute after minute, to live a healthier life.  It’s empowering to pile success on top of success.  It’s also freeing to have a gain on the scale and know that it’s not a reflection of my actions that day, that I’m doing the right things, and that the gain doesn’t mean I have to panic and retool everything I’m doing.

Gaining Wait

On to the more “philosophical” portion of my post.  One of my response cards reads: “When dieting seems unfair, I remind myself that I am not alone.  This is how all successful dieters and maintainers eat.  I HAVE A CHOICE.  I can let the sense of unfairness overwhelm me, cheat on my diet, and gain wait.  OR, I can accept that this is what I have to do if I want all the benefits of permanent weight loss.”

At first I was annoyed at the typo, especially because this is a card I made because the book told me to – not because I struggle with the “unfairness” of having to watch what I eat.  I think I’m beyond that at this point in my life, but I made the card anyways because it can’t hurt to reinforce these ideas, right?

So I was annoyed, but as I thought more about it, I realized that the typo was kind of apt, in a way.  As we gain weight (or fail to lose when we are obese), we also gain wait.  We put ourselves in a holding pattern, never living our lives to their truest potential.  We wait for the day we can lose, we wait for the day we can do all the things we want to do but can’t/won’t because of our weight.  We wait for the day when someone else makes us feel loved.  Worth.  ENOUGH.

I’m here to say that ONLY YOU can make yourself feel loved, worth, and enough.  Not that you can’t feel loved by someone else, of course, but if there is a sense that you are missing something and you keep looking for that missing piece in other people, you are doomed to disappointment.  We all know someone who, despite the love and admiration of her family, spouse, friends, etc. still feels like she isn’t good enough.  Maybe that’s you.  I know it’s been me at different times in my life.  That’s because looking to other people for fulfillment and happiness in life, when we’re not happy to begin with, is an empty and useless pursuit.

ONLY YOU have the power to CHOOSE to love yourself and to do the work required so that you begin to feel worthy and beautiful and ENOUGH.  And if you keep gaining weight or gaining WAIT, you’ll never get there.  You can choose RIGHT NOW, today, to stop gaining WAIT and to start living into the life you want, and growing into the person you want to be.

Will you keep gaining wait?  Or will you carpe diem, seize the day, and begin loving yourself now?

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