Tag Archives | life

Coming up for Air

By on March 31, 2010 in Uncategorized

I can’t believe how busy my life is.  Caveat – if you have kids, just ignore all of this.  Every time I think my life can’t get busier, it does.  I can’t even imagine how this would feel if I had little ones!

Work

We are converting to a new practice management software at work.  In the long run, the software will increase our efficiency and save us money.  In the short term, it’s a nightmare.  Everyone is required to sit through the training, which was supposed to be 3 hours per day, 2 days this week.  Instead, it’s been 6 hours both days, and there will likely be a third.  I’m frustrated for a number of reasons:

  1. I’ve used this software before, and 80% of the training is stuff I already know.  It’s annoying and inefficient to have to sit through all of that just to pick up a few nuggets of information that are new to me!
  2. One colleague is perpetually suspicious of and, quite frankly, inept with technology.  This individual asks the same questions over…and over…and over again.  Turning a 3 hour session into a 6 hour session.  Someone stab me please?  In the eye?  With a pencil???
  3. In the normal course of my work day, I get up at least twice per hour to go to the bathroom, fill my water bottle, or just move around.  Sitting for 3 hours straight without a break KILLS my back and my calorie burn.
  4. I’m working 10-12 hour days AT MY DAY JOB.
  5. I’m going to have to work 60 hours this week to bill 30 and that just pisses me off.

Sleep/Getting up Early

I’m doing a bit better here, but getting up at 6am has been harder the last couple days.  Today I turned off my alarm and slept in until 6:50!  I felt guilty and groggy and annoyed with myself, so I’m going to get to bed earlier tonight than I have been.  I’m aiming for 9:30 in bed, 10pm lights out.  And tomorrow I’m setting a second alarm across the room again!  I want to be prepared for the 21-day challenge that starts tomorrow!  Are you joining me in that challenge?

Workouts

My workouts are okay but not 100%.  Actually, I take that back.  The workouts I’ve done have been balls-to-the-wall and 110% effort. Last night we were watching The Biggest Loser and my husband asked me if I thought I’d be a big cry-er if I went on the show.  I didn’t know the answer to that, but I do know that if I were on that show, I would leave everything out there when it came to my workouts.  And working out on my own should be no different.

The less-than-stellar part of this report is that I haven’t fit in all of my workouts.  Sunday I opted for a much-needed day of rest with my husband instead of doing my long run.  No problem; I planned to do my long run on Monday, which is scheduled as an active rest/rest day.  Instead of taking my early-afternoon break after the training session as planned, I ended up in training all day and at work from 6:30 a.m. until 7:30 p.m.  When I left, I went to the grocery store, shopped, came home and cooked 3 meals to keep on hand, and went to bed.  So, no long run in my first week of 10K training.

I did have a kick-a$$ workout yesterday morning!  I did 40 minutes of strength training circuits and then knocked out a 2 mile tempo run.  That was hard and I was sweating like nobody’s bidness, but it felt great.  That kind of effort on a regular basis is what will get me where I want to go.  So, no perfection here, but if you were expecting that, you need to put down that [insert hallucinogenic substance here] and step away…

Food

This continues to be my biggest struggle.  Sweets have snuck back into my diet, so today I’m bringing down the hammer and going sugar-free.  Mostly, anyways – I am having an almond butter and low-sugar jelly sandwich later!  But no chocolate, no candy, no sweet-sweets, if you know what I mean jelly bean.  No!  No jelly beans, either!  Last night I left work at 8pm, which meant I was the last one here.  I put the candy bowl inside a drawer, so it won’t tempt me today.  Someone will inevitably pull it out again later, but I figure every little advantage helps, right?

So.

There you have it.  Life in all its normal busy crazy full challenging stressful beautiful mess.  That’s what I’m dealing with now – how about you?  What’s going on in your world?  Challenges, victories?  Do tell.  I need to get out of my own head, friends.  :)

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My last three days…or living instead of blogging about it

By on March 14, 2010 in Uncategorized

Mizfit talks often about the difference between thinking about life and living it.  Blogging, even, about life, and living it.  The last few days have been all about that for me, and have included:

  • Staying up until 2am on a work night.
  • Eating 700 calories all day so I could enjoy my birthday dinner out with friends Friday night, complete with chips and salsa and a margarita.
  • Forgiving myself for missing strength training twice this week.  Letting my niece and nephews celebrate me for my birthday was, quite frankly, far more important.
  • Having a pedicure after coffee and a cookie with my niece, all of which was a surprise.  Yes, darling, I’ll let you pick the color of my toenail polish.  Green?  Perfect for St. Patrick’s day, and yes please to sparkles.  (If you can’t tell already, I am head over heels in love with my niece and nephews.  They are my favorite people on the planet!  Okay, after my hubs.  Or maybe they’re tied.  Shhh, don’t tell!  lol)
  • Enjoying a homemade meal of steak, tabbouleh, and baked potatoes AND a piece of my chocolate birthday cake with chocolate frosting and M&Ms inside AND out, courtesy of my mom and sister (the meal) and niece and nephews (the cake).
  • Realizing that I can enjoy indulgences but still be healthier than I’ve ever been.  One plate, not two, thanks.  One piece of cake will do, and yes, please, Mr. O (hubs), I’d love you to share this with me.

I’m learning, ever so slowly, that LIFE is the most precious thing we have.  And THAT, friends, is why I am fighting with every ounce of breath and energy I have in me to lose this weight.  There are days when I just want to look hot, but do you know what?  My niece and nephews don’t care what I look like.  They just love me, and love when I play with them, and that includes chasing them around and jumping on the trampoline.  So this girl is getting fit for THAT kind of life living.

The bonus?  My weight is holding steady and I’m not using that as an excuse to overeat until it doesn’t, just to test the scale myself.  I don’t need to test anyone or anything right now.  I know what I need to do, I know I am doing and will continue to do it, and I know I will reach my goal.  And THAT is better than just about any feeling.

I’m behind on responding to your comments, reading your blogs and commenting, and just about everything else electronic right now!  I promise I’ll get caught up and I’m glad to be back with y’all.  My favorite thing is to live AND blog about it.  But sometimes life just gets in the way, in the  most wonderful way possible.

Excerpts from my birthday cards:

“Dear Vava, Happy Birthday.  Thank you for having it at our house.  I love you.  You’re the most prettiest aunt.  Love, L” (nephew)

“Dear Vava, I’m happy and excited for your birthday.  You dress good.  You’re a cool aunt.  Happy Birthday.  I have a lot to say.  I want to go out to Denny’s with you for your birthday for breakfast and dinner and dessert.  I love you, Vava.  Love, T” (niece)

Last thought for today: How could I possibly not love myself when these small, wise people (ages 3 and 4) love and cherish me so fully?  I believe children see the world more accurately than most.  So I am choosing to trust these little ones and love myself as much as they love me.

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Reminders

By on February 18, 2010 in Uncategorized

I’ve been reading some good stuff lately, y’all.  Things that remind me of, well, important stuff.

Here’s a list of the best I’ve run into this week:

  • Hard work and determination pay off.  2 + 2 = 4.  If you do the right stuff, eventually – you. will. lose. weight.
  • Indulgences that are unplanned and in-the-moment are rarely worth it in the long run.
  • The best things in life really are free.
  • I never regret working out.  On the other hand, I almost always regret skipping a planned workout.
  • Working out never fails to make me feel good.
  • Getting enough sleep really does make me a different (better, nicer) person.
  • My weight is not who I am – it’s just a number.
  • Shame and guilt have never motivated me as much as joy and determination do.
  • These behaviors I’m choosing?  They are for life.  Every day, every minute, every meal, every workout – I have the opportunity to choose health and to step closer to my goals.
  • Chocolate is good, but losing weight is better.  I can’t believe I just said that.  Somebody smack me!
  • Moderation in all things.
  • Life is good.
  • Counting your blessings and being grateful for them will make you feel happier.

I’m sure there are a lot more of these simple but powerful truths.  What are some of yours?

Comments { 3 }

Friday Roundup & Gaining Wait

By on January 15, 2010 in Uncategorized

No, that’s not a typo – I really meant to say gaining “wait,” not gaining weight.  But that’s part two of this post; part one is a general roundup/report on my week.

First, my daily weigh-in has me at 252.2 today, which is down .8 from yesterday and 3.6 less than last week’s “official” weigh-in on Saturday.  I’ll post my official weekly weigh-in weight tomorrow, of course, but no matter what happens it looks like I’ll post a healthy loss for the week which is wonderful.

My Beck Diet practices have been going well.  Daily I have been:

  1. Checking in with my diet buddy, Andrea, from A Cake for a Wife;
  2. Planning and tracking my food for each day in advance, usually the night before;
  3. Sticking to a reasonable calorie range (under 2,000);
  4. Sticking to my workout plan for the day;
  5. Reading my advantages and response cards twice daily, and making new cards whenever I think of something good;
  6. Giving myself credit for all the good choices I’m making; and
  7. Weighing in.

I navigated a tricky day yesterday where I had no time for a sit-down breakfast and I ate out at a restaurant; I made good choices and did the best I could, which, as it turns out, is GOOD ENOUGH.

That’s what I’m learning this week: I am good enough.  I am strong enough.  I am smart enough.  I have all the skills and tools required to choose, day after day, meal after meal, and minute after minute, to live a healthier life.  It’s empowering to pile success on top of success.  It’s also freeing to have a gain on the scale and know that it’s not a reflection of my actions that day, that I’m doing the right things, and that the gain doesn’t mean I have to panic and retool everything I’m doing.

Gaining Wait

On to the more “philosophical” portion of my post.  One of my response cards reads: “When dieting seems unfair, I remind myself that I am not alone.  This is how all successful dieters and maintainers eat.  I HAVE A CHOICE.  I can let the sense of unfairness overwhelm me, cheat on my diet, and gain wait.  OR, I can accept that this is what I have to do if I want all the benefits of permanent weight loss.”

At first I was annoyed at the typo, especially because this is a card I made because the book told me to – not because I struggle with the “unfairness” of having to watch what I eat.  I think I’m beyond that at this point in my life, but I made the card anyways because it can’t hurt to reinforce these ideas, right?

So I was annoyed, but as I thought more about it, I realized that the typo was kind of apt, in a way.  As we gain weight (or fail to lose when we are obese), we also gain wait.  We put ourselves in a holding pattern, never living our lives to their truest potential.  We wait for the day we can lose, we wait for the day we can do all the things we want to do but can’t/won’t because of our weight.  We wait for the day when someone else makes us feel loved.  Worth.  ENOUGH.

I’m here to say that ONLY YOU can make yourself feel loved, worth, and enough.  Not that you can’t feel loved by someone else, of course, but if there is a sense that you are missing something and you keep looking for that missing piece in other people, you are doomed to disappointment.  We all know someone who, despite the love and admiration of her family, spouse, friends, etc. still feels like she isn’t good enough.  Maybe that’s you.  I know it’s been me at different times in my life.  That’s because looking to other people for fulfillment and happiness in life, when we’re not happy to begin with, is an empty and useless pursuit.

ONLY YOU have the power to CHOOSE to love yourself and to do the work required so that you begin to feel worthy and beautiful and ENOUGH.  And if you keep gaining weight or gaining WAIT, you’ll never get there.  You can choose RIGHT NOW, today, to stop gaining WAIT and to start living into the life you want, and growing into the person you want to be.

Will you keep gaining wait?  Or will you carpe diem, seize the day, and begin loving yourself now?

Comments { 7 }

I'm baaaack!

By on October 14, 2009 in Uncategorized

Hi, friends!  I’ve been MIA for so long I’m surprised you’re still here!  Thanks for sticking with me.

The wedding was on October 2 and it was FABULOUSLY FUN!  We had about 150 people, the ceremony was great (and included our priest being super cool and funny about blessing Marc’s pliers since he can’t wear his wedding ring at work), and the reception was a blast.  Great food, awesome music, and just an all-around good time.  I can’t believe how quickly it was over!

After the wedding we stayed in Seattle for 2 nights at a great hotel downtown courtesy of my parents.  We had lots of family in from out of town and my sister had them all over to her place the day after the wedding.  Can you imagine 70 people crammed into one house?!  It was great fun and my sister and brother-in-law are absolute ROCK STARS for everything they did to make our wedding festivities special.

We headed up to the San Juan Islands next, where my parents had rented us a cute little cottage on the water for two nights.  It was great – daytime we spent with family, but evenings we had time to ourselves which was wonderful.

We both came down with colds after the wedding – lame!  But we’re both healthy now, and back to work.  I’m doing all right with healthy living right now – maintaining my weight, getting in about 4 workouts per week, and eating healthy for the most part.

The next three weeks are going to be insane – we are moving at the end of the month AND house-hunting, so life is crazy right now!  I’ll post as much as I can, but know that I’m not MIA because I’m off the wagon, and in the next few weeks I have some really BIG news to share!

Missed you all and so glad to be back…

Comments { 1 }