Tag Archives | motivation

My Best Self

By on December 18, 2010 in beauty/beautiful, determination/motivation, emotional stuff, fear, goals, gratitude, R2P4, self-image

You know, epiphanies tend to happen when we least expect it.  It’s kind of like dating.  You know how when you were (or maybe still are) dating and looking for “The One”?  And people kept telling you to the point where you wanted to stab them in the neck with a pencil that you would find The One when you least expected it…when you stopped looking?  Yeah…epiphanies are kind of like that.

And yes, epiphany is a strong word to use, but I think it fits for what I’ve realized this week…mostly today, actually.  I’ve realized that this blog and my life and my focus and my journey have to be less about my weight and more about becoming the woman I want to be.

When I am losing weight (or gaining weight, for that matter!), it is so easy to become fixated on my weight.  And then that fixation takes over everything, and even if I’m maintaining (mostly) or otherwise “doing well” (whatever that means) with my weight, I still obsess.  Or I transfer the obsession from weight to something else – like what I eat.  It’s almost as though I’ve been on a quest for perfection, and if one thing is going well and not satisfying my habit of being imperfect or focusing on imperfection, I find something else to be annoyed with.

Pretty dumb, huh?

So today I was reading Brandon’s guest post over at MizFit’s place, and he said this:

Gradually, I’ve been learning to not put so much emphasis on that number staring back at me on the scale. I’ve lost 90 pounds so far, and even though I’ve got probably 10-15 pounds more that I’d like to lose, my focus lately has been much less on my weight, instead shifting to becoming the best version of me that I can be.

That shift in his focus really spoke to me.  I feel like that is a shift I need to make and, in fact, have sort of been trying to make without even realizing it, or being able to articulate it.  I am no longer 100+ pounds overweight.  I am no longer unable to do the things I want to do in life because of my weight.  The world, quite frankly, is my oyster.  So who do I want to be?  What do I want to do?

I know part of the answer to those questions.  I want to be vibrant and healthy and fit and strong.  I want to run a half marathon.  I want to run a sub-30 minute 5K.  I want to be a loving, fun, supportive wife, friend, sister, daughter, and – soon – mom.  I want to be excellent at my job and know that I am helping people.  And yes – I want to be smaller.  Probably about 50-ish pounds smaller, if I have to guess.  But where that goal used to be THE! MOST! IMPORTANT! THING! EVER! …now it’s just one of many goals.

And you know what?  That’s okay.  It’s okay that I’m not at goal.  It’s okay that I still want to get there.  But it’s also okay that I no longer want to be consumed with that.  It’s okay to look at my body, flaws and all, and be so very happy to be here, now.  Nothing is perfect.  I’m sure not.  My body isn’t.  And none of the above (or anything else) ever will be.  The Crazy Thing right now?  Is that I don’t want it to be.

Somehow, in the span of two days, I have gone from absolute angst over my struggle, to peace about where I am and where I’m going (even though I don’t even know where that is!).  I’m sure I’ll cycle back and forth many more times in life – that’s just the nature of it.  And I guess that’s why I’m feeling okay today.  Life isn’t about perfection.  It’s not about never struggling.  It’s about knowing that the good days, bad days, and in-between days are all part of the deal.  And you can either fret and stress and obsess over every little detail, or not.

So this is me – not.  Not obsessing.  Not fretting.  Not stressing.  Not giving up, either.  Not sure what the immediate future holds.  Not having to be in control of every-freaking-thing in life.  Or at least telling myself that I’m not.  Because we all have to start somewhere, right?

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Something to Brag About

By on November 15, 2010 in consistency/commitment, determination/motivation, hope/inspiration, NSV, R2P3, Vibrams, weekend, working out

Happy Monday, y’all!  First off, I’ve got a guest post running today over at Sarah’s place – go check it out!  She’s running a whole series of posts on getting through the holidays with our healthy priorities intact, so be sure to bookmark her blog and head back for more.

I had a great weekend – the hubs and I decided to take a last-minute trip up to my parents’ place on Lopez Island in the San Juan Islands.  We’re rarely there on our own; usually it’s the whole family, which is super fun.  But it was great to be there with just the four of us for a change – lots of time to catch up with my folks.  Plus the hubs got to go shooting with my dad, which they both loved!

The only drawback to the way our weekend played out is that I didn’t fit a workout in.  And once we got home last night, the last thing I wanted to do was change and drive 20+ minutes to the gym!  So I was munching my way through the evening (yeah, I’m still struggling with that) and inspiration struck.  I have an adjustable weight set at home, so there was no need to leave for the gym to get a workout in!

I knew the inspiration wouldn’t stick around if I waited too long, so I got up immediately, put on my VFFs and some gym clothes, and banged out a 35 minute strength training and core routine in front of the TV.  It felt great, and even better, I’m going into the week with a head start on my workouts.  I know this isn’t the first time you’ve read this (or thought it!), but I honestly can’t say I’ve ever regretted a workout after the fact.  And I’m grateful that my determination was enough to get my a$$ off the couch and get ‘er done last night!

For me, 35 minutes was all it took to go from feeling sluggish and lazy to feeling strong and righteous (but not in that snobby I’m-better-than-you kind of way – more like the hooray-for-me-I-did-the-right-thing kind of way).  It made me realize that while we often pressure ourselves to make BIG decisions and do LONG workouts and focus on IMPORTANT things…every day is made up of a series of teeny tiny choices.  Moments, split seconds even, that determine the course and outcome of our day.  I read once that when we are faced with temptation, we don’t need to have the willpower to resist for long…we just need the determination for the ONE MOMENT it takes to throw away (or walk away from or otherwise remove) the source of our temptation.

So, yesterday?  My one moment was that second I hauled my a$$ off the couch and walked to my bedroom to change my clothes.  Everything after that was a done deal.  One moment, friends – that’s all it takes.

So, that’s my brag/moment for today.  What is your brag for the day/week/month?  What’s something you’ve been kicking a$$ at lately?  Please share your successes and NSVs, big and small.  It’s time for some inspiration up in here!

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Why I Keep Doing the Work

By on October 22, 2010 in consistency/commitment, determination/motivation, emotional stuff, fear, goals, hope/inspiration

Hello and happy Friday, friends!  I’ve been scarce this week and don’t really know when that’s going to change.  This may be my “new normal” for a while!  I’m still reading your blogs and commenting as much as I can…alas, my Twitter time has suffered tremendously!

Quick reminder: if you’re in on the Ninja Giving Skillz project, do what you gotta do ASAP!  I’m extending the “deadline” until Monday to give y’all a chance to catch up on your “homework.”

Also, I just have to give a shout out to my ND, Dr. Joanna Forwell (or Dr. Jo as I call her).  She called and left me the best voicemail offering to help me trouble-shoot through the stall that led me to end my latest HCG round early.  Thank you, Dr. Jo – I hope we get a chance to talk today!  It has been ages since I’ve worked with a doctor who has been so proactive and concerned about my health and who would leave me a 3-minute voicemail.  If you’re in Seattle and need an ND, give Dr. Jo a call.

Whew!  Okay, on to the “topic” of today’s post.  I was thinking today about how our motivation and/or reasons for doing what we do changes over time.  It’s a necessity, really.  If you started because you were fat and then lost weight, that “condition” of being fat is no longer the thing that keeps you going.  And we all know that if the motivation is simply NOT being fat…well, sometimes that *insert favorite food here* is much more compelling in the moment than the fear of getting fat again.

Likewise if your reasons for starting this journey were to address health issues, perhaps those health issues have resolved themselves.  I know so many of you who have reversed diabetes, gotten rid of high blood pressure, brought your cholesterol down into healthy ranges, and improved a whole host of other health conditions by eating healthier and moving your body.  And what a wonderful thing!  Or maybe you’ve gotten rid of the knee/hip/foot/back pain that just got to be too much and spurred you on to change.

Whatever your reasons were at the outset, it is likely and good that those reasons change and evolve as you get healthier (and, for many of us, lose weight).  When I started, my reasons included being healthier, feeling better about myself, feeling sexy, being able to do anything I wanted to (physically), and shopping in “regular” stores for clothes.  Well, I’ve achieved every single one of those objectives, but my motivation/determination hasn’t waned one bit.

If anything, it’s gotten stronger.

What I’ve discovered is that the longer I do this, and the healthier/faster/stronger I get – the more I want to keep going.  I love feeling healthy, strong, and fit.  I want to feel that way for the rest of my life.  The more I do this healthy living thing, the more I realize that, for me, the lifestyle itself is the reward just as much as losing weight is.

Don’t get me wrong – I know I’ll still have a week now and then where I just can’t find it in me to workout.  I know the scale will go up and down a little.  I know food will still call my name when I am going through something emotional.  But whatever temptation I may have to fall back into my old ways; no matter how I might stumble, I know that I am in this for life.

So that’s why I keep doing the work.  New reasons.  Because I love myself and how I feel.  Because I’m worth it.  Because I know I can do this; choose to live as healthy as I can in each moment, and be the best me I can be every day.

So why do YOU keep doing the work?

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While We’re on the Subject…

By on July 9, 2010 in emotional stuff, R1P2

…of products, that is!  I finally pulled out my BodyBugg, which quit working several months ago.  At first I thought it was because my subscription had expired, but I renewed like a good little girl and lo and behold, it still didn’t work.  Because I’m busy (and sometimes a tad lazy), I kept putting off the phone call to customer service to see if I could get it fixed.

Well, today my friend mentioned that she’s decided to buy one, and raving to her about how much I love mine inspired me to call customer service about my problems with the Bugg.  Wanna know something?  Sometimes I’m really dumb.  All it took was 10 minutes on the phone with customer service and rebooting my Bugg to get it up and running again!

The exciting part is that I had to enter my new weight, goals, etc., and seeing how far I’ve come since I last wore it was great.  I’m wearing it now and will be interested to see, over the next few days, how much my calorie burn each day has gone down because of my weight loss.  I’m almost 30 pounds lighter than when I was last wearing it, so I imagine those numbers will have changed quite a bit.

This whole process got me thinking about what gets me pumped to continue challenging myself, whether it be with weight loss, running, or other goals.  Something many of you probably already realize is that I love toys!!  Gadgets make me happy!  (In fact, I just got my new iPhone 4 today, woot!)  Wearing my Bugg makes me more motivated to work out when I’m feeling lazy, especially if my burn for the day is low.  Wearing my Garmin makes me want to run just a tiny bit farther than I did last time.  Using my HRM makes me proud to see the number of calories I can burn in one hour of spinning.

Writing this blog is kind of like one more “toy” or “gadget” or “aid” in this journey to becoming a healthier me.  And contrary to what has happened with other gadgets in the past, I haven’t gotten tired of it.  Some days I don’t know what to write, but I know I’m not alone there.  Some days I just don’t write because it’s a weekend and I’m out living, or because I have nothing to say.  Other days I’m silly, sometimes I’m excited, thoughtful, deep, shallow, weird, and all sorts of other stuff.

The best thing about blogging, for me, is that I come as I am and don’t feel like I have to be anyone other than me.  I’ve continued to blog just for me, and I love that y’all have joined me.  But in a way, this blog has provided a kind of acceptance for me that I was always looking for in food, but could never find.  And before y’all rush in to say, “It’s not healthy to replace one addiction with another!”, hear me out.  I’m not saying this blog has taken the place of food for me.  What I’m saying is that through the process of blogging, I’ve come to know myself better, and I’ve come to accept and love myself as I am.

I am good enough.
I am smart enough.
I am loveable.
I am loved.
I love myself, right now, today.

So, yeah.  I started with my BodyBugg and this is where I ended up.  Now you know what it’s like to be in my head!  But you know what?  These days, being in my head, and in my body – well, it feels damn good.

Are you a gadget person?  What gets you excited to keep working towards a goal?  Any feedback  you want to share with folks about your BodyBugg or other toys?

HCG Update

HCG Start Date: 6/1/10
Starting Weight: 252.5
VLCD  Starting Weight: 255
R1P2 VLCD Day 35: 222
Total Weight Lost: 30.5 pounds

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Bloggy Beck Book Club – Discussion #1

By on February 25, 2010 in Uncategorized

Welcome to our first official Bloggy Beck Book Club “session,” y’all!  I am excited to get into the nitty gritty of this book with you, so I am going to get right to it.  Scale Warfare and Bella will be joining us here today, and we will all rotate hosting future blog posts about this book.

Your homework for today was to read pages 1-49 of The Complete Beck Diet for Life and complete the homework given in those pages.  A summary of your to-dos includes:

  1. Gather your supplies:
    1. 3×5 index cards
    2. Blank business cards
    3. A diet notebook
    4. A digital scale
    5. Graph paper
    6. A small box
    7. A larger box
    8. Multiple sets of measuring spoons & cups
    9. A digital food scale
  2. Set a modest weight loss goal.
  3. Make time for dieting (read: schedule it in!).
  4. Get a Diet Buddy.
  5. Get organized – make the supplies you need easy to find, and get rid of foods that don’t support your goals.
  6. Make a Memory Box.
  7. Fill your Distractions Box.
  8. Talk to your family/friends/support system about what you’re doing.
  9. Build a sense of entitlement.
    1. Make your Response Cards.
    2. Make your Advantages Deck (a special set of Response Cards that you read daily to remind yourself why weight loss is so important).

    We’ll touch on most of these homework items today (warning, warning, long post ahead!) and, for some of them, revisit them over and over throughout the book club discussion in the coming weeks.

    So first question – how’d you do with the homework?  Did it feel like a lot?  Did you find yourself thinking, “This is an awful lot of work, I wonder if it’s really worth it?”  I know I did.  Last year I first came across one of Beck’s books and I remember thinking how much work it all seemed to require.  Surely one could lose weight without spending THAT kind of time and putting THAT much energy into the process.

    Or not.  So fast-forward to this year when I started reading this book, and I was a whole lot more willing to do the work.  Are you?  I’m really interested to hear your thoughts on this.

    I went back and reread the introduction/first chapter this week.  What would you do if I told you that you could be free from guilt, worry, self-consciousness, and self-blame regarding your weight?  How would it feel to be free of hunger and your fear of losing control?  What if temptation was no longer overwhelming to you and you were able to quit eating emotionally?  Beck suggests that all these things, and many more, are possible for everyone who implements the skills she outlines in her book.

    I won’t promise you that this book is the silver bullet; a magic “pill” that will make losing weight and maintaining a healthy weight feel easy.  It won’t.  The skills you learn in this book require time and work in order for you to reap the benefits.  But I can tell you that, in my personal experience, these skills really do help.  For me, the biggest benefit I have gained from practicing these skills is the ability to remember, at any given moment, what my goals are and why my behavior and choices in that moment matter.  Mindfulness of what I’m trying to achieve has enabled me to make much better choices the overwhelming majority of the time.

    Questions for y’all to chew on and talk about in the comments:

    1. Did you do all the homework?
    2. Was there a part of you that resisted doing any/all of the work?
    3. What was your favorite part?
    4. Is any one of these tools proving to be more useful to you than the others?
    5. What are your favorite “advantages” and “responses”?  I’d love to hear what kind of self-talk is working for y’all!

    Please jump in with your thoughts, questions, ideas, and feedback.  Let’s make this discussion meaningful not only for us, but as a resource for anyone who might stumble upon this post in the future!

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