Tag Archives | scale

Ninja Giving Skillz & Other Stuff

By on October 13, 2010 in emotional stuff, fear, hope/inspiration, self-image, weight

Hey, friends.  I am cooking up a top-secret project that involves being a ninja and giving someone a much-needed gift.  I need your help!  If y’all are interested in knowing more, e-mail me (seattlerunnergirl at gmail.com) and I will give you the skinny.  It’s all anonymous and super hush-hush, so once you know the deets, you are sworn to secrecy.  Don’t spill the beans!

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming.

I’ve got some thoughts for you.  Yeah, deep thoughts.  Remember when we talked about believing in your own beauty, right now?  And when Betsy talked about who you see when you look in the mirror?  Them’s the kind of deep thoughts I’m thinking.

I don’t know what started this off for me, but I started thinking about shame.  And how much shame we all carry, carried, and/or are trying to let go of, all surrounding the issue of our weight.  And it really makes me angry that so many of us (myself included) have spent so much of our precious time and energy feeling ashamed about our weight.  And in case there are those of you out there struggling with this issue right now, I have some thoughts for you.  Here goes…

Your weight does not define who you are. (Proof: Do you think your loved ones’ weights determine who they are?  Would you want your sister, daughter, friend, or husband feeling ashamed because of their struggle with weight?  Yeah, that’s what I thought.)

The scale is not a measure of your worth. (Proof: Do small children make you get on a scale before deciding they think you are the most awesometastic person on the planet?  Do dogs – who I believe are excellent judges of character – ask to check out the weight on your driver’s license before licking your hand and jumping all over you?  Nope, me neither.)

Don’t be ashamed of your weight.  I spent my whole life terrified that people would find out how much I weighed.  When they did, I was always relieved if they said, “Oh, I never would have guessed it, you carry it so well!”  Whatever the hell that means.  Who cares about this number?  Why are we so ashamed of it?  I have a few theories, which involve a combination of our own inability to confront our reality and the disproportionate emphasis our society places on thinness and weight.  And it’s silly, because you know what?  Now that my blog is connected to my Facebook and all my friends and cousins and business colleagues and God and everybody know how much I weigh now, how much I weighed then, and everything else about this excruciatingly hard but absolutely-worth-it process?

No judgment.
No shame.
No fear.

It’s all gone.  Nobody judged me like I thought they would, or if they did they kept their mouths shut about it.  (Thank God some people remember their manners.)

Being ashamed of your weight leads to you hiding that number.  And keeping things secret out of fear or shame gives those things power over you.  Conversely, if you refuse to allow shame or fear to take hold in your heart, and you instead bring into the light the very thing you are afraid to reveal…well, all I can say is there’s power in that.  Power because you took a stand.  And power because all the horrible things you thought would happen because someone *gasp* knows your weight?

They don’t really happen.  The people in your life will by and large support you and cheer for you and won’t really care what that number is.

And the ones who do care, or judge, or whatever?  Well, I have a few choice words for them, but let’s allow Dr. Seuss to say it in a muchmorepolite way that I never could: “those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”

Comments { 7 }

“Vacation” Report & Finally!

By on June 7, 2010 in family, weekend, weight

Hi all!  Happy Monday!  I hope y’all had a great weekend – I definitely did.  Can you call a weekend away a “vacation”?  I don’t know the answer to that, but it sure felt like one (especially since I got to sleep in today!) so I’m going with it…

We took the Victoria Clipper from Seattle to Victoria, British Columbia on Saturday morning, super early.  Here’s what I did to prep for staying healthy while out of town:

  • Packed my workout clothes and headphones for my iPhone;
  • Packed healthy food to nosh on while out of town;
  • Decided ahead of time how I would indulge (decadent fruit bowl at brunch, sleeping in, staying up late with family) and how I would not (cake, alcoholic bevvies).

I’m happy to say that I stuck to my plan and had an awesome weekend both in terms of fun and in terms of staying healthy.  The best part?  Being the only one not waking up hungover on Sunday morning!  lol

Finally!

I’m also beyond ecstatic to report that the scale is finally responding to the good decisions I’ve been making consistently now for several weeks.  The bump in weight I saw a couple weeks ago just before my period (sorry, guys!) is gone, and a few extra pounds have gone with it.  I can’t tell you how good it feels, but I suspect that if you’re reading this, you already know!  I was committed to continuing to do the right things no matter what the scale said, but it makes a huge difference to see the numbers there responding after so long.  It also provides an extra dose of motivation to continue with the work I’m doing, which doesn’t hurt.

Blogroll

Thanks for all the great comments and suggestions on my blogroll post!  If you have a blog you’d like me to add, or have a recommendation for me to check out, don’t forget to leave me a comment on that post!

How was your weekend?  Do you come up with a specific plan for how to make the best choices in advance of each weekend?

Comments { 12 }

Weekly Report (Beware, lots of numbers!)

By on January 23, 2010 in Uncategorized

Hello friends,

Happy weekend!  I hope y’all are as glad to see Saturday as I am!  It’s been an insanely busy week in my life, both personally and professionally.  My business is starting to grow a bit, which is wonderful, but having a full-time day job makes it hard to keep up.  My sleep has suffered this week, which I don’t do well with.  That’s okay – I’m taking today to do housey, personal stuff (and veg out a little) and tomorrow will be a productive hit-day so I don’t go into next week with a to-do list 3 miles long.

Without further ado, my official weigh-in for the week has me at 251.8.  Crap!  My weight chart, along with details about my workouts and calories, is below.

A few things pop out at me.  First, I need to cut down on those “off” days!  Because my schedule has been so busy, I’ve prioritized tougher workouts (strength training, zumba) but let my “active lifestyle” workouts (walking, biking, etc.) fall by the wayside.  Those puppies make a serious difference in my calorie burn for the week, so they are going back on the priority list.  Today I’m heading out for a run (40 minutes-ish) and tomorrow I’ll go for a walk at the very least.

Second, I really want to get a third day of strength training in each week.  I’ve made two per week which is great progress.  But I want more.  This means I’ll be doing strength training Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.  Zumba is Thursday.  I’ll really only need 1-2 more workouts to fill in what I’ve done.  Anything more will be gravy.  (Yes, I just said that on a weight-loss blog…booyah! lol)

If you’re interested to know more details about my calories, here’s my SparkPeople Weekly Progress Chart:

Although I am tempted to cut back on my calories, I am not going to do that just yet.  As you can see, my calories are falling right around the 1800-2000 range pretty much every day.  These are high-quality calories; I’m not eating junk.  For the most part I keep my sodium down, too – except last Sunday – look at the sodium from the chicken teriyaki stir-fry at my sister’s place!

Here’s how my BodyBugg numbers are shaking out:

I don’t use the BodyBugg software to track my calories – it was just going to require too much effort to load all my favorite foods into their database, and I don’t see the point given that SparkPeople already has everything I want on there.

My average daily calorie burn is 2,970.  (Although, I would like to point out that Thursday I  broke 4,000 calories!) My average daily calorie intake over this time period has been 2,103.  That’s an average daily deficit of 867.  In the 15 day period I’m looking at, my total calorie deficit has been 13,005, which should translate into a loss of roughly 3.7 pounds.  I’ve actually lost 4 pounds in that time, so I’m sitting right about where I should be for the last two weeks.

If your head is spinning from all the math and you’re wondering why I just did all this (or why the heck I just told y’all!), I don’t blame you!  I wanted to do this for myself, so I could really grasp and understand the numbers behind where I’m at now.  Here’s what I’m learning:

  • Even though my calories have been 100% dialed in this week, my average over the last 2 weeks hasn’t been as good.
  • Even though my weight went UP this week, I’m down 4 pounds overall during this time period.
  • I’m not working out as much as I thought I was.
  • One super high calorie meal really does make a difference.  If my calories last Saturday had been at 2,000 instead of nearly 4K, my average calorie intake per day for this 15-day time period would have been around 1,900.  That’s a difference of 200 calories/day, or 1400 calories/week.  Over a year’s time,that’s a difference of TWENTY POUNDS, people!

I’ve recently run in to folks in blogland and IRL who’re struggling for one reason or another.  Folks who say, my diet has been 100% on track and I’m working out like a fiend, but I’m not losing weight.  I think there are many reasons for that.  Are you building muscle but losing FAT?  Are you measuring and tracking every bite, lick, and taste (BLT) you eat?  Are you, perhaps, eating too LITTLE?  Are you working out less than you think you are?

There are many reasons why we don’t lose weight in any given week.  One of them is self-delusion.  Another is that what we do OVER TIME matters as much as what we do on any given day.  And broadening our lens so we can see a larger chunk of time (like 2 weeks) can totally change our perspective on how we’ve eaten, worked out, and/or lost for that time period.

Anyhow, this sounds an awful lot like I’m trying to explain away my gain for the week.  And, in a way, I am.  I’m trying to understand why I gained so I can change my behaviors moving forward.  Here’s what I’ve got to do:

  • Keep up the work I’ve done this last week with my food.  I’m eating super well and I need to stay committed to that.  This means continuing to shop, cook, track, and pack my meals in advance of each day.  This also means I will have to give up some of my precious relaxation time this weekend to prepare some whole, healthy foods for next week.  (My inner rebellious teenager is stomping her foot now, but this time I’m giving her the finger!)
  • I need to make exercise, both high-intensity and lifestyle, an absolute priority in life.  That means I will have to schedule every workout in advance.  I’ll pull out my calendar today and do that from now.
  • Keep my weekly splurge meal to a more reasonable calorie total.  I’m thinking that since my daily calorie average (less that crazy meal last week) is right around 1,900/day, I will give myself one day/week where I can eat up to 2,500 calories.  That won’t throw my numbers off too much, but will still allow me to plan for a serious indulgence regularly.

What do y’all think?  Any suggestions for me, or am I on the right track?  Does taking a step back and looking at the bigger picture help you not go off the deep end when you have a week where you don’t lose?

Comments { 6 }

The Complete Beck Diet for Life: Success Skills 1-3

By on January 20, 2010 in Uncategorized

I thought I’d provide an overview of the Success Skills Beck outlines in her book.  I hope y’all don’t get sick of reading about this stuff!

There are a lot of the skills and I’m going to provide comments about each of them, including how they’ve worked for me, so I’ll break this list up into several posts.

Success Skill #1: Motivate Yourself Daily


I can’t say enough about this skill.  The first tool Beck asks you to create is your Advantages List.  Why do you want to lose weight?  Writing down each reason and later making each reason into an Advantage Card to keep in my Advantages Deck has been invaluable to me.  I review my Advantages Cards every day, usually twice per day but sometimes more.

I used to think that my reasons should be obvious, and I shouldn’t need a daily reminder of why I want to lose 100+ pounds, I was wrong.  Reminding myself regularly keeps me focused on my end goal.  It makes it part of my thought process to keep my goals in mind as I make decisions throughout the day.  Over time, I believe reviewing my Advantages Cards (and continually adding to them) will make my goals ingrained in my everyday, every-minute thinking.  This mindfulness is something I’ve always wanted but didn’t know how to acheive.

Success Skill #2: Weigh Yourself Daily


Beck lists several reasons for this, including:

  • To desensitize yourself to the numbers and reduce the shame so many of us attach to the number on the scale;
  • To prove to yourself that daily fluctuations are normal;
  • To provide extra incentive to stick to your plan; and
  • To learn how to use that number as information, rather than a source of emotion or judgment.

Again, this tool has been very effective for me.  One of my Response Cards says this: My weight is not who I am.  It isn’t a measure of my self-worth.  It is simply a number that tells me important information.  Reframing the way I think about my weight (not as a concept, but the actual number on the scale) has allowed me to weigh-in daily without letting that number dictate my mood or self-esteem for the day.  It has been very encouraging to see the number go down consistently over time, while also allowing me to witness the daily fluctuations that have nothing to do with my behaviors on a given day.

Success Skill #3: Eat Slowly, While Sitting Down, and Enjoying Every Bite


Beck’s rationale for making this practice essential is:

  • It forces you to be more mindful of what you are eating;
  • Mindfulness like this has been proven to reduce overall calorie intake;
  • It allows you to really enjoy your food and be visually satisfied;
  • It forces you to slow down, which means you are more likely to be full by the time your meal is over;
  • It allows you to minimize the possibility of feeling deprived; and
  • It teaches you to approach eating with a calmer mindset and accountability for what you’re eating.

Again, another very useful tool for me.  I will admit that I have forgotten at times to practice this skill.  Like today, during a staff meeting, when I munched on a small bag of organic baby carrots.  Or when, the other day, I snacked on a couple pieces of pineapple as I skinned and cut the fruit up.  Overall, however, I have taken this advice to heart.  I am even waking up early enough (or coming to work later) in order to allow time to cook breakfast at home and eat it.  At my kitchen table.  This is a HUGE accomplishment for me!

Another confession: I rarely sit and eat an entire meal without having some form of “distraction.”  I sometimes read my blogroll, or listen to music, or browse through a magazine.  If I catch myself starting to eat mindlessly (like today at lunch), I force myself to slow down and really pay attention to each bite.  One strategy I use is to put my fork/spoon down in between each bite, instead of loading her up for the next bite while I’m still noshing on the last one.

Have any of you put these skills into practice?  What do you think of them?  Are you willing to commit to choosing one of these and practicing that skill each and every day (and/or meal, as applicable) for the next 7 days?

Edited for daily weigh-in: My weight this morning is at 252.4, up 0.2 from yesterday.  Not sure what the weight is doing right now, as I’m 100% on-track, but that’s okay – it’ll settle-down eventually! lol

Comments { 7 }

Saturday Scale Showdown

By on January 16, 2010 in Uncategorized

With the daily weigh-ins recommended by Beck, my weigh-in today wasn’t, I thought, going to be much of a surprise.  Here’s how my weight played out this week:

Last Saturday’s “official” WI:   255.8

Sunday:                 255.2
Monday:              254.6
Tuesday:              253
Wednesday:       251.8
Thursday:           253
Friday:                252.2

I expected that, regardless of the actual number, I’d have a good healthy loss but nothing enormous.

And without further ado, my weight today was 250.6!

For those who hate math, that’s a loss of 4.6 pounds in one week.  I’m super excited!

My official starting weight for Beck, was 254.5, so my first 5-pound goal is to reach 249.5.  I’m hopeful and, dare I say confident? that I will reach that goal in the next week.  I’m happy about that for a number of reasons, not the least of which is the weight loss itself!  But I am desperate for a new pair of shoes (as I’ve lost weight, I kid you not my feet have shrunk, so I have very few pairs that fit me!) so I am juggling around my rewards to buy a pair of shoes as my first 5-pound reward.  Yippee!

The best part about this last week has been my growing awareness of my reasons for eating and of how food makes me feel.  I shared with my diet buddy, Andrea from A Cake for a Wife, that last night I had an argument with a friend that left me very upset.  My first, almost subconscious thought was to go get a pint of Ben & Jerry’s ice cream and eat it in front of the TV.  I say “almost” subconscious because, as soon as the thought slipped through my brain, I realized what I was thinking.

What kind of screwed-up-in-the-head person thinks that eating a pint of ice cream is going to make her feel better about something emotional?!?  (Don’t worry – I’m not beating myself up, just realizing the disfunction of the patterns I’ve been in for so long!)  So at first I thought I’d work out instead, but I really wasn’t in the mood and I didn’t want to replace one “compulsion” with another.  So instead I came home, cleaned house, did laundry, sat down and enjoyed my planned meal, and then indulged in an evening of TV (including this week’s Biggest Loser episode on our DVR).

And you know what?  I felt better all evening than I would have if I’d eaten that ice cream, for sure.  I was still upset about the argument with my friend, but instead of trying to “stuff” that feeling with food, I just acknowledged it and let it be.

Part of what I’m learning is that I don’t have to run away from every negative emotion.  I don’t have to analyze it.  I don’t have to understand it, even.  I just have to realize it’s there and then go about my life anyways.  Sometimes I’ll need to do more, but I don’t have to beat every single effing emotion to death, break it down into its little bits, etc. in order to emotionally healthy.

Sometimes, the emotionally healthy thing to do is just acknowledge it and then move on.  And that’s what I did last night.

What are you learning about how your emotions affect (or don’t) your eating choices?  What did you do well this week?  Where can you improve?

Comments { 6 }